PHAN ONESHOTS

IT WAS ONLY A KISS part 1

A/N: Part one of a very dramatic oneshot!

IT WAS ONLY A KISS part 1

*Dan POV*

It was at a New Year's Eve party. I was drunk. It was midnight. He was there.

It didn't mean anything. Of course not! It was just a kiss. A little kiss...that included a bit of lip-moving and tongue-clashing. Okay, it was a snog, but I was drunk and he was just there and I didn't want to be alone at midnight.

And sure, it lead to lots more kisses and groping and stumbling upstairs and falling on to a bed and clumsy, giggly sex, but I was drunk!

Problem is, Phil wasn't.

Se hadn't really spoken since then, and it was almost February now. I didn't want to loose my best friend, but that's hard to do after you've had drunken sex with him.

But he had kissed me back and came with me upstairs and hadn't hesitated when I submitted myself to him. And he was so gentle and sweet. He touched me and kissed me and asked if I was okay. When I woke up the next morning, I was in my own bed with a glass of water and pain medication on my bedside table.

I paced back and forth in my bedroom. I couldn't loose him. He was the one thing that held the ends of my torn up life together. My parents who didn't talk to me, my schooling down the drain, my dreams out the window, the only thing going for me was YouTube and I couldn't even for that because I was always thinking about that damned kiss. That kiss that had just ruined everything I had left.

I jumped about a foot in the air when I heard a knock on the door.

"Dan?" Phil's voice came from the other side. "I'm ordering Chinese takeout. Do you just want your normal?" He asked and I gulped hard.

"Yeah, thanks." I said and flopped.down on my bed, groaning in to my pillow.

I had to talk to him. All this tiptoeing around each other and ignoring the giant elephant in the room was driving me literally insane. My hair was falling out from all the stress!

I got out of bed and got on fresh clothes so I didn't stink. I shuffled my feet a lot on my way out to the lounge where I found Phil, watching Death Note and playing PokeMon lazily on his 3DS. I sat at the other end of the sofa and he looked up at me, smiling softly.

"Hey, Phil?" I said after a minute.

"Yeah?" He said, glancing up from his game.

"Can we...talk?" I asked and he sat up a bit straighter, closing his DS and placing it aside

"Of course. What's the matter?"

"It's... about New Year's..." I said and he kept his face calm. "About... what happened between us. I... remember it. Like, clearly. I mean, not every single detail, but I know what happened." I said and Phil shifted a tiny bit. He didn't say anything for a long while. "Look, it started off as just a joke. We're both single and I didn't,want to be all alone at midnight... so I just went for it, yeah? The rest was just my stupid, drunken mind." I looked up and Phil was looking down, a few tears glistening on his cheeks.

"A joke?" He asked softly and I nodded slowly. "It was just a joke to you?" I froze.

"Well, what else would it be? I'm not gay, Phil."

"You told me you loved me. Several times."

"I was absolutely pissed drunk! You can't hold me to anything I did or said."

"And you promised you would be with me."

"Yeah, like I wouldn't run away or leave you living here alone." I tried to defend myself and Phil looked close to breaking down.

"I lost my virginity to you, you ass!" He screamed and I froze. What? He'd never had sex before?

"Phil... Phil I... I'm sorry, I had no-"

"No idea, yeah. I never told you because I knew you would make fun of me." He spat. "I trusted you and you just ignored it for so long after! You finally decide to talk almost a month later and you tell me it was all a /joke/? I've liked you for ages, Dan! Ever since we met, in fact. I thought you had finally realized that you liked me back and we were gonna be together after that... but I was wrong. I was stupid and childish and you're not gay. Because being a homo is disgusting and you don't /really/ like blokes, it was just because you where /drunk/!" Phil was sobbing at this point, having stood at some point and now he was curled up on the floor. I was speechless. I hadn't known any of this...

"Phil-" I croaked and sat next to him. He shook his head and sobbed. "Phil, please... I'm so sorry, Philly..."

"Don't fucking talk to me that. Don't try to apologize. You don't like me, whatever." He spat and moved away,from me. "Takeout will be here soon. Will you grab it? I'm a mess." He muttered and got up, walking to the bathroom. I stood slowly and grabbed some cash, waiting to meet the delivery person at the door.

Once the food had been delivered, I sat at the breakfast bar and poked around in my orange chicken for a while. Phil returned, his hair dripping wet and his clothes clinging to his damp body. I looked back down,quickly.

I did like Phil, but I was afraid. I didn't know why at that point. He obviously liked me.

"Phil?" I said softly and he looked at me with bloodshot eyes. I gulped and stood up, stepping closer to him. He looked at me apprehensively and I took a deep breath, leaning up to kiss him.

"Dan!" Phil jumped away. "Don't tease me."

"I'm not! I really like you, Phil. I was afraid you didn't like me back!"

"Obviously I did, if I willingly kissed you back and had sex with you while I was sober!"

"I'm sorry, Phil, just please give me a second chance! I screwed up and I'll never make a mistake like that again!"

It was quiet between us for a long time. I stared at Phil with tears brimming in my eyes and clinging to my eyelashes.

"I'm sorry, Phil." I said after a long time. Phil glanced at me.

"I just need a little time, okay?" He grabbed his food. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

A/N: Part two will probably be out tomorrow!