Don't Tell My Brother

Chapter 57 - Coincidences

She was right. Damien could easily lie over text, to make Lucas feel better or to hide the fact he was hurt, and Lucas wouldn't be able to tell the difference if he couldn't see him properly. And he just wanted to see him, as stupid as it undoubtedly was. It must be a honeymoon phase, Lucas tried to reason, because missing Damien already was surely unreasonable. But the fact remained that seeing Damien this afternoon would make him feel better. He wanted to see him, simple as that. 

"Excuse me? Lucas?"

Lucas glanced up. With his forehead still pressed against the locker, he could only look at the girl who'd spoken out of the corner of his eye. Taller than him, blonde, lots of freckles. She was in his US History class. Emily, or Emma, or...something. Was this another Richard-from-Economics situation? He wasn't sure if he could handle another invasive question about Damien, no matter how well-meaning the questioner was.

"Do you want something?" It came out a little shorter than he'd meant it to.

"Yeah, you're...sorta blocking my locker." 

"Your locker?" It took a moment to sink in. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry." He pushed off the locker – Emily's/Emma's locker – as hurriedly as he could, scrambling back to stand beside Mona. "That's your locker. Right. Sorry, again." Glaring at Alex as she smothered what was obviously a grin, he gave Emily-or-Emma an awkward little wave before turning his attention back to the conversation.

"You're right." He sighed.

"I usually am. Coming, Mona?" Alex was on a mission now, tucking the costumes under her arm. Mona looked at her blankly, so she elaborated. "To Mountbank. Damien's school."

"Why?"

"Because Lucas needs to see his boyfriend."

That seemed to be enough to convince her, so although she was still a little nonplussed the three of them were soon walking out of the school gates and onto the sidewalk, heading for the bus stop. (Lucas had briefly considered asking Mark for a lift, but thought he'd dragged him into his love life enough times for one day. He deserved a break.)

All the walking was giving Lucas time to think, and the more he thought the more he worried. This was too much, wasn't it? Damien said he'd call him, and that would be fine. Going to his school was too clingy, too overbearing. Could he really not go a day without seeing him, all because he was getting a little worried? He was making a big deal over nothing, like always. Abruptly he stopped in his tracks, a few feet away from the bus stop. Alex ran right into him, and it took Mona a few seconds to notice they'd stopped at all.

"Maybe this isn't a good idea." Lucas said. Without thinking, he'd begun to bite at the skin around his thumbnail. "Isn't showing up to his school a little weird? I don't want...we didn't agree on it, it might be too much. I'm being ridiculous."

"Lucas," Alex began. But the word wasn't exasperated, like he'd expected it to be. All his worrying must get annoying to deal with, he was sure, but Alex's tone was soft and kind as she continued. "I know you're stressed about all this. Because you're you, and this is a new relationship, and I bet you want to do everything perfectly."

"Maybe not perfectly," Lucas said, "but I want to get it right."

That wasn't so unreasonable, was it? There had to be some way to get it right. Getting it right meant Damien was okay, that they stayed together, that he wouldn't mess things up and have to lay awake at night replaying embarrassing scenarios in excruciating detail to find out where exactly he'd gone wrong.

Alex smiled. "Hate to break it to you, Lucas, but that's impossible. This is a relationship, not an essay. People are messy and confusing and the worst. There's no way to 'get it right'."