I Loathe You. I Love You Too.

Chapter Fifty-Four : we were estranged

"Goodnight," she smiled at me.

I started to close the door, I hated seeing Paige upset but what could I do?

"Parker," she said my name and I opened the door.

"Yeah?"

"Are you tired?" she asked.

"No not really," I answered.

"Can I vent to you?" she asked like I'd say no.

"Yeah, of course," I walked outside and closed the patio door. It was chilly outside, I had been wearing a jacket and Paige was just in a short sleeve shirt, "are you cold?"

She looked in my direction and shook her head no but I didn't believe that, so I took off my jacket and handed it to her.

"Always being a gentleman," she whispered, putting it on before she was quiet again.

"You should blame your dad," I smiled.

"I'm surprised that you took most of the things he taught than Malcolm did, but I'm glad someone has respect for women like my dad does."

"Malcolm respects women Paige, he just doesn't show it as much as I do," I looked and her and she nodded.

"I don't know, it's just seeing him with Madi and knowing her as a person makes me wonder if he has changed. He's not like he was before. I had noticed the change a while ago but I said nothing. I thought it was a phase, but seeing the phase started with a person I despise makes me realize that he only changed for her."

"Sounds like someone else I know," I sat back and stared at her for awhile.

"I was wondering when you were going to bring that up, you didn't seem very talkative when we were loading up the car," she finally looked at me and there was hesitation in keeping eye contact with me before she looked back out to the sound of the waves crashing.

"Oh, uhh I just don't want to make it feel like I'm trying to control your life or some shit. I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to fix your problems. I'm trying to respect that we aren't together and that my opinion really doesn't matter anymore," I then followed her gaze out to the darkness.

"Parker, your opinion has always mattered to me, your opinion matters more than Malcolm's opinion. I know you want what's best for me while other people want me to do things for their benefit. But your right Mateo shouldn't change for me, he should change because it's what's best for him if he truly thinks it is," she sighed and there was silence that followed. No matter what Paige said about me, I'm biased, my opinion will always reflect on how I feel and when it comes down to another guy being what's best for her. I'll find a flaw, I saw the things I needed to do better with her but I also know I never treated her like shit. I know I can take care of her, I'm in control of how I am to be a good boyfriend. I can't control these other guys to doing it right. So I kept myself quiet. I knew my opinion mattered to Paige that's why I stopped sharing it unless I truly saw where there would be trouble ahead and with Mateo I knew he'd be an ass. One thing I learned about that kid is he'll treat you right in the beginning to get you attached and then act like a shit guy when he has you. I heard stories about his exes and the way he talked about them made me sick.

"What happened in the kitchen with you and Kayla?" I asked, "I thought you guys were doing okay?"

"We were, I started to forgive her a little but the way she acted in there just set me off," she sighed.

I nodded, I wanted to say something but I knew it wasn't my place.

"What?" she looked at me and tapped me with her foot on my leg, "you have that look. What is it?" she pressed.