●~Not All There Anymore |REWRITTEN|~●

|2| Unmoving, Always Smiling

Ryuko have a short laugh and bent down. "Let me tell you what the police did when they dropped you off here." He said, counting a finger for each statement. "Who was closest? Who was least likely to ask questions? Who has space?" Ryuko smirked and held up another hand. "Now here are the things they didn't do. Is this home suitable for this child and his situation? Is this home stable? Does the guardian of this child approve of this home, since she is neither a criminal nor clinically insane?" Ryuko raised an eyebrow at Izuku.

"Let's be honest, the only thing they cared about was dropping you off and getting out of here as soon as possible for a quick donut run." Ryuko glowered a bit, then brightened up. "Hey, happens to every kid that ends up here. Come on, we've got a date with a ruined meal!" Izuku sighed in defeat and stood up, following Ryuko out into the hallway.

Ryuko smiled a bit and put a hand on Izuku's shoulder, steering him. "So, let me run you down some quick rules." He began. "Do not, and I mean do not, open their bedroom door if it is closed." Izuku tilted his head.

"Why?" Ryuko shuddered, making a face.

"Did it once. I did not need to experience how babies are made first hand. Especially not with two forty year olds." Izuku's eyes widened and he too shuddered at the thought. Ryuko nodded in self pity.

"Rule number two. Nod your head and agree with all opinions. You'll get less bruises that way." Ryuko spoke the last part sourly, to which Izuku took as a cue not to make anyone mad. Not that he was planning on it. Ryuko stopped at the top of the stairs, clasping his hands on Izuku's shoulders. "One more thing. Rule number three: they raise a hand in your direction, duck, and run for the door. Run to a crowded area and sit there for an hour. Keep your phone on you at all times, call a friend to pick you up or something."

Izuku nodded warily. "Why don't you tell the police? Stay at a friend's house?" Ryuko let out an almost mocking laugh, the sound bitter and humorless.

"Really? The police are going to arrest one of the few foster homes that take in 'troubled' kids?" Ryuko put up quotation fingers around the word 'troubled'. "Sides," he said, going down the stairs. "Only friends are drug addicts that I drive home from drunk parties and keep from harassing decent women."

Izuku stood in shock for a moment before rushing after Ryuko, trying to keep up. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, it was only the women that had greeted him at the front door; he couldn't remember her first name. Ryuko reached over and put a finger over his nose, much to Izuku's confusion.

"What are you doing?" Izuku asked through a muffled voice. Ryuko looked down at him in pity, his own nose pinched.

"The smell." Izuku made a confused face.

"But it smelled decent before-"

"Those were twelve scented candles." Izuku blanched, his eyes flicking over to the table set with food. "Breathe with your mouth, and take very small bites. Never eat more than half a plate." Izuku tilted his head slightly, and Ryuko made a face of his own. "Last time I ate an entire plate, I got food poisoning."

Izuku blanched again, and immediately recoiled as Ryuko let go of his nose. The smell was absolutely atrocious, as if a garbage truck in the middle of summer had married a rotten tuna can and then had an affair with a couple dozen landfills. Long story short, it was bad.