Bad Reputation - Shawn Mendes

24 - Defenceless

Eleanor.

It's been a week since Shawn left and it feels empty. I'm used to seeing Shawn almost everyday for the past month and now going a week without him feels unusual. Today the fraternity is holding another party because it's their anniversary or something and honestly i didn't feel like going at all but Aaliyah is dragging me to it. According to her, i need a life besides waiting for Shawn to call and going to a party will help me feel better about Shawn not being here. Honestly, she's very wrong because the best part of the my day is talking to Shawn and nothing will make me feel better other than having Shawn actually fly back here. But knowing Aaliyah, she rarely takes no for an answer so i don't have much of a choice but to tag along.

I had just showered and got dressed to go to the party when my phone rings and i see that the caller is Shawn. I quickly swipe answer and say "hey" into the phone. "Hi babe. Whatcha doing?" He asks cheerfully. "Just getting ready to go to the party that your sister is dragging me along." I tell him. "It's going to be great!" Aaliyah butts in and Shawn laughs. "Have fun and be safe, okay?" He says and i nod even though he can't see me. "What are you doing?" I ask as i put on some makeup. "I'm currently heading to do an interview, wish me luck!" He exclaims. "Good luck babe!" I smile. "Anyways, i got to go my publicist is going to brief me." He says before we both say our goodbyes.

As i was about to hang up, i hear a female voice and it intrigued me so i place the phone back to my ear. I know it's wrong for me to listen in because Shawn had forgotten to end the call but I couldn't help but be curious. "You can't tell James you have a girlfriend." The female voice says and i assume it's his publicist. "Why not?" Shawn asks. "Because you've just released an album and having dating rumours will bring bad publicity. And not to forget your girlfriend doesn't have a good reputation in high school." She says and i start to feel slightly angry. I wait to hear Shawn's response, only to feel even more angry. "Okay, I'll deny being in a relationship." He says and thats when i finally hang up the phone because I didn't want to hear anymore.

I was okay with Shawn denying our relationship to his fans because from previous experience with the paparazzi, i know they'll hunt me down once they find out who i truly am. And also because I know that as soon as Shawn announces our relationship, there will be people hating on me and I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle that. However, what made me truly angry and hurt was Shawn not defending me like he did with Chloe. He knew that it wasn't true and everything was just because of one fucking rumour, but instead of standing up for me and defending me that it was all a lie, he kept quiet and let everyone believe it was true. And that's what hurts the most, when you finally trust people and open up to only have them shatter your heart to the ground.

Shawn.

I'm on my way to do an interview with James Cordon and I'm kinda nervous because it's my first interview after releasing SM3. What better way to ease my nerves than to call Elle? With no hesitation, i press dial to Elle's number and she picks up after 2 rings. "Hey." She greets and a smile instantly forms on my face. "Hi babe. Whatcha doing?" I ask into the phone. "Just getting ready to go to the party that your sister is dragging me along." She says. "It's going to be great!" I hear Aaliyah exclaim and I laugh."Have fun and be safe, okay?" I tell her. "What are you doing?" She asks and i hear shuffling in the background. "I'm currently heading to do an interview, wish me luck!" I cheer. "Good luck babe!" She smiles and i see my publicist pointing at her clipboard. "Anyways, i got to go my publicist is going to brief me." I say. We both say our goodbyes and i put my phone back into my pocket.

"You can't tell James you have a girlfriend." She says. "Why not?" I ask, not understanding why I couldn't flaunt my relationship with Elle. "Because you've just released an album and having dating rumours will bring bad publicity. And not to forget your girlfriend doesn't have a good reputation in high school." She warns me and i sigh. I know that what she's saying is right and probably for the best. "Okay, I'll deny being in a relationship." I say before swallowing the lump in my throat.

We arrive at the show's set and i get my makeup and hair done. The show goes on air and i start to feel even more nervous. "You'll be fine Shawn." I mentally prepare myself. After James does his opening, he introduces me as one of the guests and the curtains open. The audience scream at the sight of me and i smile and wave at them. I give James a hug before sitting down on the sofa next to him.

"It's been so long since i last saw you, and now you're releasing your third album." James starts off and the crowd goes wild. "Yeah it has been such an amazing journey." I say while fixing my jacket. "So tell me more about your latest single In My Blood." He suggests and i nod. "It's about me dealing with anxiety and going through struggles. And to be very honest, i was scared to release this song because it's not easy to show your raw emotions. But at the end of the day, it's a song that i hope people can relate to and brings light upon celebrities not always being perfect." I explain as James nods along. "It really is a great song, and the message behind it is so deep and wonderful." James says and i smile.

"The album also consists of love songs like Lost In Japan, Fallin All in, and Nervous. Was there any inspiration behind it?" James asks and i feel my heart beat out of my chest. "It's funny because you'd think that for a person who's written loads of love songs would have some experience but i don't." I say, shifting uncomfortably around the sofa. "Not even a love for an old friend, like her?" He says as the screen shows a picture of me and Elle when we had just came out of the pizza place and was bombarded by paparazzi. "Who is this mysterious girl?" He asks, trying to get an answer out of me. "She's just an old friend from Pickering" I say, not making any eye contact. "Why are you covering her face then?" He leans closer to me. "She gets uncomfortable in front of the cameras." I lie and James nods.

We move on from to talking more about the process of writing this album and i thank god because any more questions and i might have broke. Overall the interview was pretty good and i even did a performance of In My Blood which the audience reacted very well. Afterwards i did a short radio interview and they didn't really ask about Elle thankfully. Once i was done with all my schedules and ready to hit the bed, i decided to try and call Elle one last time to see if she got home safe from the party. When i dial up her number and put it to my ear, it doesn't ring and goes straight to voicemail. I text her saying that I'm done with my day and am back at the hotel room. I put my phone aside and start getting ready to bed. Once i was done, i still hadn't received any messages from Elle. I hope she's okay.

Author's Note!

200+ reads? Wow, just a few chapters ago i was thanking you guys for over 100 reads and now it's twice of that. Thank you guys for reading this book, i hope you guys like it!