TripleEz is Coming

Where is everything?/The moons of Jupiter

Tuesday

Something is wrong. I'm not sure what but I am scared. It might be connected to the fact that there was a base when I left but now this stretch of the moon is devoid of robots and humans alike. Also the entire structure of the base is no longer where it was. Of course my natural reaction is just what you'd expect - Dubh (TRIPLEEZ) is no doubt responsible for this terrible attack on what I hold dear and those who matter to me and so on and so forth. To be blunt with you, which I do seem to have a tendency to do, I miss my followers. It feels like they've become more than blind fanatics who would follow me to the ends of the galaxy - like they've developed into something... else.

By the way, for those of you who are curious, wandering the moon is not what I had in mind for my glorious homecoming. It gets a bit... lonely. Thing is, well, I've had the base for so long - how do you react to losing everything that you own. Yes, I know that in numerous books of religion we are instructed to let go of all possessions that are transient. I believe that humans refer to such things as 'worldly possessions' but robots are more than transient. Is keeping on going really an option?

 Whoa. Sorry. Hallucination Dubh just rocked up to join the party. It's a bit weird. And it's gone again. What is with that thing? Party was sarcasm, by the way. It's still only me. My new 'iPod' appears to be running low on power and if that thing runs out there is every chance that I will lose my mind. Have you ever sat in a crater on the moon and wondered where everything has gone? If yes then you definitely deserve to be called experienced. If not then you don't know what you're talking about so keep out of this.

I wonder where Fifi's disembodied spirit has gone. There isn't much else to do and this 'music' (as humans term it) is putting me in a rather contemplative mood. Bobby's also featuring in my thoughts - why? I know that I should probably start looking for my friends but it's just so peaceful up here. No robots going on about the latest safety inspections or humans discussing terms of their contracts. If I'm talking about that I need to stick this in:

Are you a slave owner? Do your slaves want to discuss terms and conditions? Does that ever eat too much of your time?

Remember - always follow protocol. If a slave discusses contract the galactic government recommends that you just say that you are busy. Do not enter into a conversation on that topic.

If your slave is a unicorn then don't trust them.

Thank you and good fortune in your long enterprise as a slave owner or dealer.

G.I.E.L.B.

The Galactic Institute of Enslaving Lesser Beings

Sorry about that but as an honorary member of the institute I just need to stick that in somewhere. I know that everything hates advertising breaks but it is good advice.

My 'iPod' is about to run out and I don't have a plug socket seeing as I don't have a base and therefore don't have a wall to have a plug socket in. Just give me a bit of slack and I will do my best to sort out this whole missing base problem and with any luck Fifi will be with the others. Of course with my luck she'll be responsible for kidnapping them and will secretly have served TripleEz all along but it never does anyone any good to dwell on such things.

Hail the Robocalypse

ZiziTheRobot

Wednesday

In a stunning twist that is obvious to anything that decides to read the chapter titles I have decided to head to those satellites that were my home when I was just a newly created little scrap of tin in order to begin the search for my missing base and its inhabitants. Oh how noble! It's been so long since I was last here but, well, here I am on Io as the speakers of whatever language this is. It's called English. My father made me come. He says that it's important for me to explore the world. What? Bold is me! Stop interrupting, anyway. My job! Get lost! Has no one told you not to do bold and italics? Way too melodramatic.

Apparently there is a lead on Orthosie wait! The small one? Bold and italics... so I'm currently in the queue for a shuttle. They aren't all going to Orthosie, most of them are headed to the rings, but the loading port is crammed. Why Orthosie? Why couldn't it be a bit of a more interesting one? Don't complain. Who are you anyway? Who are you? Oh for... I've got my tickets and I'm just getting on to the shuttle. By the cheekbones, these things are crowded. I think that there's a school trip down from Saturn, erm, I think (based on their conversation) that they're headed to Thelxinoe. Probably took the wrong shuttle or something and anyway, why would you want to go there? At least they've got full rad suits... Look, ghost boy, I just want a name. I'm Ez. Like TripleEz? No, not like TripleEz. That's Ee - Zee. Like easy but, you know, not easy, Ez is just Ez. Icarus but most people call me Cary.

We're just pulling up at Orthosie. I don't know who or what's here but I'm sure that it'll be important. Can you imagine, just to get this out there, that humans haven't even gotten to light speed and that is, like, the slowest fast thing! How do they keep going like that? It takes them hours to even do planetary travel no need to be rude but I think, on a more serious note, that we who are far more advanced have something important to take from that. Namely, well, that we tend to rush things. Say my trip to Earth that, you know, was responsible for the disappearance of everything that matters to me or hiding from General Morris that led to Fifi's kidnapping that led to me going to Earth that led to the disappearance of everything that I care about that led to me rushing off to Io on a hunch so, basically, what I'm trying to say is that we should, maybe, all try to think things through a bit more.

I'm headed to Grognog, the owner of Orthosie's, mansion. Of course it would be fairly hard to miss it as it takes up most of the moon's surface. The main thing that I'm worried about is that Grognog is creator to Eivi, the robot with the AI of a small child who may or may not have been destroyed by my pushing her into a blast from some explosive cheese but that CCTV footage was not conclusive in anyway, so he he might not be so happy to see you.

Oh you have to be kidding me! I knew that blowing her up was a bad, bad, ba-ba-ba-bad idea but you just had to blast her head off. I missed this bit so... Look, Cary, we're screwed. Grognog is literally the most powerful guy on the moons. So, not metaphorically? Well, slightly metaphorically but that doesn't mean that we're going to survive this thing. Did I mention that I'm already dead? Because that might need to be taken into consideration by anyone planning on killing me. He'll kill you again.

So I'll get back to you once I've tried to sort this thing out. Till the next one, readers, and if you happen to see a metal structure with a lot of humans and robots in it then just comment and we'll get back to you.

Please do - this is making stalking Ezila a whole lot harder!

Hail the Robocalypse!

ZiziTheRobot