Secrets and Camera Flashes

Chapter 75

Charlie: WHYYYYY WHY WOULD WAYWARD SISTERS FORSAKE ME LIKE THIS

Castiel: Is this not the best outfit I have ever worn on any show ever?

Castiel: If you say "no" you're lying.

Charlie: N O

Castiel: I hope the rest of my costumes bring you as much joy as this one.

Charlie: I will personally march up to Vancouver and burn the wardrobe trailer to the ground

Castiel: And then I'll have to wear the same trenchcoat in every episode.

Charlie: No <3

Castiel: Those are pretty much the only two options.

Charlie: -_-

Charlie: Oh hey have you met Claire yet?

Charlie: Or anyone

Charlie: Literally any of the stars

Castiel: I saw Alex for, like, three seconds but I haven't actually spoken to anyone yet.

Charlie: God why would you even text me if you're not here to provide stories

Castiel: ... Sorry?

Charlie: Have you sent Dean a pic of your ugly ass coat tho

Castiel: I don't think Dean would be able to handle seeing how hot this coat looks on me.

Charlie: I would say send it but then you'll never get laid

Castiel: I'm sending him my selfie right now just to prove you wrong.

Castiel is, of course, vaguely aware of the fact that people do not like his trenchcoat when he wears it to black-tie events. He's had the misfortune of seeing anti-trenchcoat headlines from big-name gossip magazines in the past (usually because Charlie sends them to him), and he wouldn't be surprised if Dean has the same animosity towards it as the rest of the world. That will be half the fun of sending him the picture.

So, of course, that's what he does, accompanied by the message, "First day of work, gotta look my best." He's about to go back to his conversation with Charlie when the small read message appears, and it's not long after when Dean starts typing.

Dean: Please tell me this is you being a little shit and it's not what Lucifer's going to wear

And thus, his suspicion has been confirmed: Dean also hates the trenchcoat.

Castiel: Why does everyone hate my trenchcoat?

Castiel: I mean, I guess this one would be Lucifer's trenchcoat, but the point still stands.

Dean: This is seriously your costume?

Castiel: Apparently.

Dean: What

Dean: The

Dean: Fuck

Castiel: That is an excellent question.

Dean: You know, Cas

Dean: While I am all for full body pics

Dean: I would very much prefer them to have more skin showing

Dean: Because this...

Dean: This is like reverse-nudes

Dean: It has the opposite effect of nudes

Dean: I don't need to worry about getting a boner in the middle of this radio interview broadcast place or whatever the fuck it's called

Dean: Because nothing I see or hear will negate the reverse-boner effects this outfit gave me

Castiel bursts out laughing. He's not even sure if it's actually what Dean said that's making him laugh, or if it's just the fact that they can make jokes like this so comfortably with each other. It's been a very long time since he's been able to talk about anything sex-related without a strong feeling of existential dread so this is a refreshing change.

Castiel: Unfortunately I don't think Sexy Satan is the vibe they're going for.

Dean: Well, I think the fandom should petition for, like, a sex scene or whatever so I can still get my Horny Boi Hours

Castiel: ... so here's a friendly reminder that this is a show about female empowerment and not angel sex.

Dean: It's not a show about angel sex *yet*

Dean: If there's enough demand tho we can still change that

Castiel: There's not even enough demand for another season so I think you're a little overly ambitious.

Dean: Sometimes all you need is faith (and maybe a little riot bc I'm not above that)

Castiel: You and I have very different ideas of how this show works.

Castiel: Who would I even have sex with? The girls are all, like, 19.

Dean: Idk it can be a throwaway character

Dean: I'm not picky

Castiel is about to type out a response when there's a knock on his trailer door. Well, that was fast. It looks like it's time to take a ride to set. Now he just has to hope he doesn't get too starstruck and forget his lines.