What Souls are Made Of

Chapter 5

Avi quickly tried to dissuade my obsession with Sarah, but he knew his attempts were futile. He taught me many things about this new world; how to make brief trips to human stores or gas stations, how to get food, currency. But the one thing he could not teach me was how to give up on my past. Sarah was my past, and I knew she was also my future. But Avi's frustrations were beginning to show through.

One night about a week after I had joined him, he fully cracked. "What if she is healthy, Seth?"

It was the question that had been plaguing me. What if she made it? I wanted her to be healthy. I wanted her to be looking at this new world with crystal blue eyes. I wanted her delicate porcelain skin to cover her fragile bones. But if she were healthy, forever was over for us. I no longer deserved such gentle beauty in my current state.

As much as I fought it, a small flame hoped she had turned. I hope that she was among the mindless masses that roamed the street in a one-track stupor. It was a terrible thought, but it burned within me. If she had the black eyes of this disease, we had a chance. I could bring her back to me.

"What if she is not?" I shot back bitterly. But my anger was not at Avi, it wasn't at this new world, and it wasn't at the disease. My fury was at my own selfishness. "I need the salt. I have to go look for her."

Avi sat back and surveyed me for a moment. He took a swift intake of breath before he began, as though the story would cause him physical pain. "Things do not always turn out as you hope. Michi found his daughter and was able to turn her back to whatever it is we are; not quite human, but not a zombie. Her name was Aiko. Michi told me all these stories of her before the change. Tales of a sweet but driven girl, intelligent and funny. When he turned her back, she was Aiko, but the experience affected her. Her new strength and loneliness led her down a new path Michi didn't expect."

Avi shifted uncomfortably at the memories. He wasn't meeting my eyes as he spoke.

"That's when Michi began to turn a few more of us, so she didn't feel so alone. I was part of that group. There were a few of us, but we were a divided club. Maybe Michi was too sentimental, hoping his cure could help bridge the gap between humans and zombies. Having more like her, Aiko was pushed further down a dark path, one where the physical benefits of being a zombie coupled with a human's mind made her feel superior. Many of the group agreed with her," Avi's head shook back and forth as he recounted the tale.

"But she wouldn't have killed her own father?"

"No, of course not. Their bond was much stronger than even most fathers and daughters get to share. But Aiko grew cocky with the support of others like her. That's what led to her downfall. She thought she was invincible, but we always have to remember that we are not. One bullet to our brain, and we are dead..." he mumbled something under his breath that I did not hear.

"What happened to her?"

"She was in the street during a thinning. Michi called to her to take cover, but she didn't. She thought she was smarter than a bullet. It's a lucky man that has never seen a shot shatter a delicate skull. Unfortunately, the numbers that haven't seen it are fewer than those that have now," a shuddered at the memory rippled through Avi. "I tried to stop him, but grief hits faster than action. Michi was there by her side. They should have known he was different. Zombies don't mourn. Either they weren't thinking or didn't care. Maybe it was for the better. They get to rest together now and don't have to see the degradation of each new day."

"What happened to the others?"

"They left soon after, went north."

"You didn't go with them? Wouldn't you want to stay together?"