The Admiration Project

Chapter 9

"She's on life support right now," Anne explained carefully. There was still a glimmer of hope in his eyes, but it drained quickly. "They just told us that she went braindead about ten minutes ago."

Harry's shoulders sagged and his face went pale. He sunk back in his seat and clenched his jaw. His eyes glazed over quickly, moisture gathering at his bottom waterline and threatening to spill over. Louis chewed on his nails nervously, eyes flicking back and forth from Anne to Harry. His legs were numb.

"I'm sorry, Harry," Anne whispered. That was what did it. A tear streaked down from each of Harry's eyes and his lip quivered. Louis could tell he was trying to hold it in, he could see the way he was biting violently on the insides of his cheeks. He felt helpless, just sitting there not being able to do anything.

"Are we allowed to see her?" Harry asked, voice thick and trembling. Anne nodded and she and Gemma stood up. Harry followed their lead, and Louis assured them that he'd be alright on his own.

After about a half hour, Louis decided to curl up in the chair and take a nap until they came back. Another family was gathered in the waiting room wiping tears from their eyes, and he felt awkward being awake for it.

He was awoken three hours later. The sun was only a red sliver on the horizon by the time he came back. Harry was staring down at him with red-rimmed eyes and flushed cheeks, lips swollen from biting them.

Louis sat up and looked behind him for Anne and Gemma, but they weren't there.

"They left already," Harry explained. "She's gone."

Louis frowned and breathed heavily through his nose. He could see a fresh wave of tears forming in Harry's eyes, so he grabbed his hand and led them back to the parking lot.

When they reached the car, Harry just stopped and sighed. Louis saw his lip shake again, so he cooed sympathetically and pulled Harry into a hug. Harry held him tight and buried his face into Louis' shoulder. He let out a few watery hiccups and squeezed Louis so resistantly he could barely breathe. Louis ran a comforting hand up and down his back, through his disheveled curls and along the back of his neck. He could tell that Harry trusted him enough to be vulnerable like this in front of him, and that made Louis hold him even tighter.

***

Harry had asked Louis not to leave that night.

When they'd pulled back into Harry's driveway, Louis told him that he should probably get going. Harry had sat there silently for a moment before looking over at Louis with the most distressed expression he'd ever seen on another human being.

"Please don't go yet," Harry pleaded quietly. His hands were trembling in his lap.

"I'm sorry, Harry, I have to," Louis replied sadly. Harry frowned and let another stray tear slip free.

But as Louis laid in bed at 12:30 A.M., he realized that he didn't really have to, so he chucked his blankets off and threw a large hoodie over his head. He grabbed his keys off the hook and drove back to the Styles' house. Although it would've been easier to just text Harry to come unlock the front door, he decided to do it the old fashioned way. He found a few pebbles and flung them up at Harry's window. A few moments later, a puffy-eyed Harry appeared from behind the curtains. Louis waved and he rolled his eyes. A minute later the front door opened and Louis walked in.

He looked up at Harry for a moment, taking in all his features. He had clearly cried some more, as his eyes were red and distended, and his nose was also swollen from being rubbed. His lips were chapped and peeling and there was a sheen of sweat across his forehead. Even still, looking at him made Louis' heart lurch.