The Usurper's Queen | COMPLETED

13 | a frozen heart

"Anne!" I heard someone cry, and I saw a man standing by the bedside, hair disheveled and looked as if he had not showered for days. I could only stare at him, as I felt too weak to say a thing. "Why did you go out into the snow Anne? You knew that it was dangerous, but you still went out! You could've died Anne!"

He slumped down next to the bed while haphazardly placing a basin full of hot water on the nightstand. He then picked up the towel that had been placed on my forehead and dipped it into the water, squeezed it, and put it back on my forehead. "If Anna-Maria hadn't told me that you left, I never would have known, Anne. You were already unconscious, buried under two feet of snow. If I had been even a minute later, you would be dead Anne."

"For how long was I unconscious?" I croaked painfully, and my throat felt as if it were sprinkled with powdered glass.

"You were asleep for three days, Anne," Edmund told me. He corrected the position of the towel, and his hand gradually trailed down my cheek. The towel was warm, but his hand felt much warmer. "On the first night, you were unresponsive to any treatment, and the physicians thought that you could not be saved. On the second, you had a terrible fever, Anne. It was so bad that I thought you were never waking up."

At that moment, I finally recalled about Lacey and her bastard child, and my heart immediately froze despite Edmund speaking to me so tenderly. "You must've been so happy then. You could finally marry that wench," I taunted. Edmund shook his head and gently grasped my hand, saying, "There is so much that you don't know Anne, and I shall tell you everything, I promise. But first, you must eat. You haven't eaten for days, Anne. I'm afraid you might get sick."

A maidservant later arrived with a tray that contained a lidded bowl, a dish of sliced grilled mutton, salted vegetables and a small bowl of medicine. "You must eat first, Anne. After that, drink the medicine," Edmund said.

He lifted the lid to reveal rabbit stew inside, and he brought a spoonful of it close to my lips. "What are you doing?" I snapped, unamused by this sudden show of affection. "Why are you worrying over me? Didn't your beloved mistress fall ill and collapse?"

"I shall tell you later Anne. Now you must eat," he spoke. Reluctantly, I ate the stew, but I could only swallow three mouthfuls before my stomach started to turn.

"No more," I said and waved him off, and Edmund put the bowl aside with concern.

"What is wrong, Anne? Did it not taste good?" Edmund asked, but I swiftly shook my head.

"I don't feel well. I might throw up," I confessed.

"Then I shall not force you to eat. But when you feel hungry, you must tell me," Edmund urged. "Now drink your medicine."

He picked up the porcelain bowl, and a repulsive stench wafted through the air. "What is in that medicine? It stinks," I murmured in disgust, and Edmund finally cracked a smile.

"The physician had mentioned echinacea and chamomile. It might smell horrible, but you must drink it, Anne. Otherwise, how will you recover?" he convinced.

The medicine was unbearably bitter and pungent, but I had no choice but to drink it. Tears formed in my eyes due to the horrid flavor, and I was certain even if I rinsed my mouth with a lake full of water, the taste would still remain.

"Now, tell me about that harlot. I want to know all about it," I demanded. Edmund pursed his lips for a moment, and his fingers slowly reached for my hand, which he gripped tightly.

"I was sixteen at the time, Anne. I was at the age where I started to become curious, and I started to desire for things that I shouldn't. Yes, I was reckless, and I am aware of that, and I regret it to this very day," he confessed.

"That woman you met before, Lacey Rivers, was one of the maids that served in my household. She is the same age as me, and I was attracted to her, but it was never love, Anne. I made my desire vocal, and she drew even closer to me. We did things that we weren't supposed to do-"

At this point I scoffed and rolled my eyes in disgust. "You don't sound remorseful at all! It seems like you enjoyed it!"

Edmund sighed and said, "Anne, please listen to what I'm saying. Yes, I enjoyed that initial attraction, that excitement, but gradually, it faded away. I no longer felt attracted to her, but she was stuck on me like a blood leech, refusing to let go. I contemplated sending her away, but that would be too cruel. So I offered her some money and told her to go on her tasks as usual, but she wanted more. She said that she was with child, and she wanted me to take her as my wife. I could not do that, Anne, so I sent her back to her village forcefully. Yet, she still returned, and as she was one of the staff here, they still allowed her to enter. She said that I was depriving her child of her rights, and that I must acknowledge it as mine. It was at this point that I realized that the whole fiasco was never about the baby, but about her. She wanted to be a royal duchess, and that child was the collateral. It was around this time that late Queen Helene gave birth to Prince George, so I had to return to the capital. And that was the time when I first met you, Anne."

He smiled warmly, but I did not share the same sentiment. Noticing my blank expression, his smile faded and he continued on, "My position was in jeopardy, Anne. I didn't know what would happen in the future, and yet I must smile in front of my uncle every day. That child, that poor child hadn't wronged me a single bit, but how am I supposed to love him Anne? Then I realized that if I ever wanted to ascend the throne, I needed more power. My own influence was not enough, and I needed to marry a lady from an influential family. My father, bless his soul, had married a commoner, and she had little to no influence. My uncle, however, married a lady from the Ainsworth family, and you could see how that turned out. The King and the Queen became wildly popular, and no one dared to dispute him. It became apparent that Lacey was out of consideration at this point, and that's when you entered the scene. Initially I planned to court your sister, Lisbeth, but she was already betrothed. Looking back on that, I'm glad she was. Although she is much closer to me in age, you are much more sensible, albeit terribly temperamental." He began to chuckle, and he raised his hand to caress my cheek.

"But I am fond of that aspect about you, Anne. And I am glad to have met you. I thought that I would be trapped in a loveless political marriage, but then I met you, my equal. Although I must admit, initially I had no feelings for you, but I have become fond of you Anne. I don't dare to say that it's love, but I know that one day, it will be. With that in mind, I proposed to you. Indeed, at first I only saw your House Winterbourne's tremendous influence in court, but as our meetings become more frequent, my fondness grew. Eventually, I returned home to Sterling Castle, and I found Lacey crying at the main door like a madwoman. She was cradling a bundle, our child that she named Thalia, but the child was long dead. By the time I returned, it was already reduced to a pile of bones, yet Lacey insisted that she was still alive. I then ordered my men to retrieve the corpse and properly bury it. Somehow, she overheard about our engagement, and she went insane, claiming that you purposely kept me in the capital, preventing me from returning here, thus killing the child."

"Why not just send her away?" I suggested, but Edmund shook his head.

" I sent her away multiple times, but she always returns. The guards in her village were ordered to monitor her, but she somehow escapes," he sighed.

"Then just execute her," I retorted cruelly.

"Do you want me to?" Edmund asked, shocking me to my core. "If you want that to happen, then I will do it for you."