Random book (rants, book ideas, thoughts, etc.)

12. Toxic relationships

So let me be a little specific.

I fucking hate it when people portray toxic relationships in their books like it's a good thing.

First of all, do you not know what a "toxic relationship" is? A toxic relationship isn't something to be romanticized or something to yearn for. Secondly, portraying a toxic relationship in a positive light sends a bad message to the readers. And it's even worse if the ones reading your story are people who are 13 or 14 years or someone who doesn't have a good grasp on what toxic relationships are.

And above all, I hate it when the author themselves literally defend the toxic relationship saying either one of the followings:

"Oh, just give it time! He/she will change!"

"Person A serves to help person B through his hardship."

"That's just how person B's personality is supposed to be."

The most common defense being that the person who is the abuser in the toxic relationship will change...

EVEN THOUGH THAT PERSON IS NEVER GOING TO CHANGE!

Prime examples of toxic relationships deal with the bad boy and good girl. This is the formula for toxic relationships in stories:

Bad boy is a conceited asshole and a womanizer and a jerk, and good girl is a...well, a good girl.

Both of them have a one night stand or something that involves sexual intercourse.

Good girl realizes she's falling for the bad boy.

Bad boy only get turns on when having sex with the good girl.

A series of events happen and pretty soon, a toxic relationship forms between good girl and bad boy.

Bad boy is constantly domineering over good girl, arguing with her, being possessive of her, thinking that she's checking out other guys and overall there is no trust between the relationship (not to mention the bad boy sleeps with the good girl A LOT)

YET, despite this toxic relationship, people still root for it (tf?)

Let's just say a new guy comes in (this guy is a total sweetheart and treats the good girl with respect).

You expect the good girl to pick someone who treats her well, right?

Well, good girl thinks that she and the bad boy have a super good relationship and she thinks he cares about her and she picks him instead of the sweetheart guy!

Oh, and I forgot to mention, the good girl is just as bad as the bad boy in the relationship. Which makes the relationship SUPER toxic.

I use bad boy here because the majority of the time, toxic relationships include the bad boy and the quote in quote "good girl".

I understand people who want to write toxic relationships to spread awareness and to send a powerful message, but...there are people who write toxic relationships like it's a good thing, giving the excuse: "oh, the relationship will get better! Just give it time! He'll change!" EVEN THOUGH THE GUY IS NEVER GOING TO CHANGE AND SAME THING FOR THE RELATIONSHIP! Like why are you trying to make a toxic relationship work out and force the two characters to be together even though it's not going to work out and they should walk away from the relationship? 😒🙄 Toxic relationships are not cute or romantic at all, people. Repeat after me: Toxic. Relationships. Are. Not. Cute. Or. Romantic. At. All. In fact, toxic relationships are negative and can really impact a person's life. People who have been in a toxic relationship can tell you that the relationship was degrading and has affected them negatively in some way. Oh, and people seem to forget that toxic relationships don't have be physically abusive, they can also deal with emotional abuse as well. Think, people!

I feel like people support toxic relationships because the bad boy "iS hOt". Like, fucking hell no. It don't matter if the guy is so hot that he can be the son of the goddess Aphrodite, toxic relationships are toxic relationships. Just because the guy is "hot" or the two people are "hot" in the toxic relationship, doesn't mean you should support the relationship. Also, I forgot to touch this on my previous chapter, but reason most authors use when creating a bad boy and making him the abuser in a toxic relationship is because he was abused, and that's why so many people brush off the bad things he did. Regardless of him having a rough past or being abused, he is still responsible for all the bad things he's done himself and that don't give you the right to justify his actions— especially in a toxic relationship. I can name many examples where the authors do this, but I wanna make this quick (the books names are After and Fifty Shades of Grey. Worst books in the history of books).

The point is, is that toxic relationships aren't something to romanticize. Toxic relationships aren't something to root for and be like "oh, this relationship is romantic! I wanna be in a relationship like this, too!"

Whatever happened to healthy relationships? Healthy relationships are a real thing, you know. I know toxic relationships are real and do exist, but so do healthy relationships. I feel like people don't write healthy relationships because they're "boring" or "unexciting" or "don't bring any drama or action" but hey, I'd rather take the healthy relationships then a toxic relationship full of mistrust, manipulation, belittlement, and abuse.