Bewitched | wolfstar au

Seventy-eight

"Lily," Remus whispers, squeezing his best friend tight, breathing in the sweet scent of her coconut shampoo. Lily squeezes him back, leaning her forehead on his shoulder.

The two friends are in front of the same café they once met up along with James, Auguste and Severus (and Xenophilus, albeit audio only).

"Come on," Remus smiles at her, even if it's difficult when her eyes are so sad. "Let's go get something to drink."

Remus manages to not bring it up until they have their drinks in front of them, two mugs of hot chocolate sending curling wisps of steam up into the air.

"How are you holding up?" He bites his lip, searching her pale face with his eyes.

Lily gives him a tired smile, green eyes so dull and so unlike her. "I'd say I'm doing okay, but that wouldn't be true," she says softly, her eyes fixed on her mug.

"What happened?"

Lily offers half a shrug in response. "I..." She takes a deep breath, "I just needed a break."

Remus takes a sip of his chocolate. "A break from James?"

Lily stays quiet for a minute. "I don't know," she mumbles, staring at her drink. "I just... Something had to change, Re. I don't know if it's James or me or something completely different... I'm just not happy anymore. And I want to be happy, is that a bad thing?"

Remus watches her in silence, unsure of what to say. He definitely knew that leaving Hogwarts had put some distance in between them, but right now, he feels so acutely aware of just how difficult it is to talk to his best friend that it makes him wince.

He stands up from his chair and sits in the one next to her, pulling her into his side in a warm hug.

"It's not a bad thing at all, Lily," he whispers into her hair. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea it was this bad,"

"You don't have a reason to be sorry, Remus," Lily smiles at him, pulling out of the hug. Even with such sad eyes, her smile is so pretty.

"I... I wish I knew," Remus sighs, "I just wish I could've been with you,"

"I know," Lily takes his hand in hers. Her fingers are heated from holding the mug. "But this is how I wanted it to be, Re. We both know you had enough on your mind... You still do."

Remus frowns at this, feeling almost hurt. "Lily... Just because I'm worried about Sirius, it doesn't mean I can't worry about you, okay? It's not a slot meant to be filled by one," he pauses to hesve out a long sigh. "Is that really why you didn't tell me?"

Lily looks down. "I'm sorry, Re."

Remus gives her hand a small squeeze. "Don't apologise, Lily. I don't mind that you didn't tell me... I just wish you didn't have to go through it alone."

This time when Lily smiles at him, her eyes are a little brighter. A little less sad. Remus smiles back at her.

"This is why I love you so much," she says, "You're too good for this world, Remus,"

"I know," Remus shrugs, "But unfortunately, I have no other options,"

Lily rolls her eyes, fighting her grin. They fall quiet for a bit, sipping at their drinks as they think of what to say.

"So if this is a break... Does that mean you're getting back together?" Remus finally asks.

"I don't know," Lily sighs. "I thought it would help me figure things out but... It's doing the exact opposite,"