Bewitched | wolfstar au

Forty

"You okay?" 

Sirius' voice makes Remus let out an involuntary sigh. They're standing in front of a small one-storey house sitting in the middle of a quaint little garden surrounded by a picket fence. From the outside, it looks almost idyllic, even so late in the evening. 

"Yeah, I'm—" Remus never gets to finish his sentence. The front door opens, and a woman rushes outside. The rest of the world fades away into a quiet nothingness when Hope Lupin pulls Remus into her arms.

She smells like chamomile.

Remus closes his eyes, biting his lip as he prays for his tears not to fall. His hands lie idle at his sides, helpless. 

"Oh God, Remus," Hope's words are muffled by Remus' jumper. He's more than a whole foot taller than her. "Mom," Remus whispers into her hair. She pulls away, wiping at her eyes. He bites into his lip a bit harder when her eyes start moving across his face, as if she's looking for something.

A son that knows how to love her back, maybe.

"Excuse my manners," Hope smiles, turning to Sirius. "I just haven't seen my son in a good while. You must be Sirius... I've heard a lot about you." 

"It's wonderful to finally meet you, Mrs. Lupin," Sirius' face blossoms into a wide smile. He goes to offer his hand for a shake, but stops when Hope speaks.

"Mrs. Lupin? That would be Remus' grandma," Hope laughs. "Please call me Hope. You're close enough to be family,"

"In that case, Hope," Sirius grins, "May I have a hug?" He opens his arms. 

Smiling lightly, Remus watches his two favourite people in the world embrace each other. It's so sweet, how Sirius smiles when he's happy.

"Why don't we go inside?" Hope suggests, rubbing her bare arms. 

"Of course," Sirius smiles at her, and turns to give Remus a pointed look. Remus stares at him in confusion for a minute before realising what he wants. 

"Go inside, both of you," he says, wincing inwardly at how scratchy his voice sounds. "I'll be right with you." 

He watches Hope lead Sirius inside for a second before grabbing the tin of cakes he left behind in the  sidecar. And then he chokes on a sob that comes out of nowhere. It's cold, but Remus doesn't want to go inside. He puts the tin back where it was and pinches his arm, forcing his breathing to slow down, exhaling loudly through his mouth. He presses his palms into his eyes until he starts seeing stars. When he's sure that he won't cry, he removes his hands and leans down to look at his face in one of the mirrors on Sirius' bike.

He pulls the ugliest and happiest smile he's ever had to, grabs the tin and walks in through the gate.

***

"Your mom is really nice," Sirius' voice fills the dark bedroom. Remus turns his head, but he can't see Sirius.

"I know," he replies softly, reaching for whichever cat is sleeping by his leg. His fingers find a soft patch of fur, and when he gives it a small scratch, he feels a soft purr start in response.

"You don't see her often,"

Remus can't tell if this is a question or not. He doesn't like it, either way. A loud sigh leaves his lips before he can stop it.

"I don't."

Closing his eyes, Remus lets his fingers go lax on top of the warm ball of fur. He can still feel how warm Hope was when she hugged him. Less than an hour ago, but it already feels so distant, so vague.