Monster or Angel - Alec Lightwood

10 - Forsaken Dreams

"Why are you giving these to me? They should go to the head of the Institute." He says.

"It is." I simply state and Alec scoffs in response.

"I'm not. And I never will be. It's like my whole life has been a lie. Now, everything I've ever known is-" He pants still trying to reclaim his breath from his workout.

"It's not what you thought." I finish for him and he sighs. I place my hand on his arm which forces his eyes to meet mine again. "Alec, what's going on?" I ask gently. He stays silent for a second before he takes a breath.

"My parents are ex-circle members." He says. My eyes widen as my jaw drops in shock. My hand slides down his arm slightly and I notice his eyes leave mine.

"They are? When did they tell you that?" I ask.

"They didn't. Lydia told me." He replies and I scowl growing angry.

"Lydia told you?" I scoff. He turns back to me taking in my anger.

"It's not her fault." He says in her defense. "I've done everything for my parents, for the Clave and-" He stops as he takes a breath. "I've done everything that they've asked." I take his hand in mine and I let my anger towards Lydia leave me.

"You deserve to do something for yourself, you know. You're the most selfless person I know, and you do everything for your family. Maybe it's time you choose your own happiness over someone else's." I say. Alec sighs and looks down at our hands.

"You know, I think you're right." He says and I smile.

"Of course I am." I say which causes a small laugh to leave his lips. I grin up at him giving his hand a small squeeze before letting go.

"I should give this to my parents." Alec says as he looks at the folder I gave him. I nod and sigh.

"Yeah, I should probably fill out my mission report." I say with a groan. The paper work that goes with being a shadowhunter sucks hard. "I'll see you later." I say as I turn and leave him to go speak with his parents.

————

After doing the stupid mission report I decided to go and check on Alec to make sure that he's okay. He seemed really stressed about learning that Maryse and Robert were members of the Circle and what pisses me off about it all is that Lydia was the one to tell him. I just hope that when he calms down he can see that they are on our side. However, after looking and not finding him anywhere, I decide to go and train instead. Alec will come to me when he is ready... actually he won't come to me. That man is not one to willingly talk about his feelings. But he will appear again when he's ready for me to talk at him, he always comes back to me. I just kinda hope he will appear soon, I was hoping to use him to distract me from Simon's death.

I climb the stairs towards the training room and smile as I see Hodge already training. He moves his bo around quickly, suddenly stopping when he sees me. He straightens his body and pants heavily as he watches me walk into the room.

"Need a training partner?" I ask and he smirks.

"Let's see what you got." He says. I pick up a bo and turn to face him. We lock eyes for a split second before we begin blocking one another's attacks. Our movements are quick and our hits are tough, though neither of us seem to struggle keeping up. Hodge has taught me basically everything I know; the rest being taught to me by my father. I release a grunt as I slam my bo against his and I quickly bring it back, swiping across the floor taking out his legs. He falls to the ground and I aim my bo at him, smirking at my victory. However, my smirk is short lived as a crash sounds behind me.