To Learn to Let Go | ✔

Chapter 37

"Most birthdays I just got blackout drunk and..." he trailed off, no doubt because the end of that sentence was going to be 'and fucked some random girl.'

"Well, that is all going to change, as long as I'm around birthdays will be a big deal!"

"Alright," he smiled, clearly amused by my excitement. We went back to Brayden's place for dinner. I guess I should call it Brayden and Trent's place now. Bray and Nat cooked us dinner and we watched movies all night.

"How's your dad?" Brayden asked as we were finishing up our pasta.

"He's doing better, he's in the rehab program now. He also doesn't hate me?"

"What?"

"I don't know man it's been a wild time. He tried to apologize and was promising he was going to get better"

"I am so surprised he didn't just try to make up excuses to shift the blame and get out of rehab."

"Well, once the doctors saw the extensive liver damage there was no lying his way out of it."

"I'm really glad he's going to get better." Brayden smiled.

"Me too. It's just weird, he's trying to like... be a dad. I think he wants me to move back home, he might not even remember I was kicked out. I don't even know."

"I hear you. I don't know how I would react if my birth parents came back and suddenly wanted to parent. It's like... that's all I've ever wanted, but I've also done so well on my own. So who the fuck do you think you are?"

"Exactly. It's bullshit, I've practically raised myself since my mom died, I don't need him now."

"Just do what feels right man."

"I don't know what feels right."

"Well, you're more than welcome to keep staying here once Grayson's parents are back."

"Thanks, Bray," Trent smiled warmly at his best friend.

"Of course."

"So, you guys are graduating soon, right?" Nat asked after a few moments of comfortable silence.

"Don't remind me," Trent groaned, leaning back against the couch and pulling at his hair.

"Stressed much?" Brayden asked.

"I have no idea what I'm doing with my life," Trent responded.

"That's never bothered you before."

"There was nothing motivating me to figure it out before."

"Well, the sky is the limit dude."

"Not with my shit grades."

"You know I don't care what you end up doing with your life, right?" I asked. "Not that I don't care, but like... whatever you choose is fine with me." Trent turned to me and sighed.

"I just want you to be proud of me." He said softly.

"I always am, no matter what you do. You could work at McDonald's or invent the cure for cancer, and I'd be just as proud."

"Well, that's good because I'm definitely never inventing the cure for cancer," he laughed. "I applied to some colleges at the request of Mrs. Gleason, but I probably won't get in."

"Where'd you apply?" Nat asked.

"Mostly local schools, Ryder, Rowan, Rutgers."

"Didn't your dad go to Rutgers? For undergrad and med school?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Does he donate any money?" I asked.

"Yeah, he does."

"You'll get in." I laughed.

"But my grades are shit."

"But your dad's money is good."

"What do you think you'd want to study?"

"I don't know..."

"Well, you don't have to know right away. Just go in undecided, most schools make you anyway." Nat said.

"Yeah, I guess I could do that. Now we just have to wait for the acceptance letter." I leaned over and kissed Trent on the cheek. He smiled shyly and his cheeks flushed a light pink. I had no idea he had applied for colleges, and I wondered why he didn't tell me. But that would be a conversation for another day. He probably felt embarrassed, or he didn't think he'd get in anyway, so it wasn't worth mentioning. It really hurt me how little he thought of himself, but I knew that was due to years of verbal abuse, I dealt with it too.

We spent the rest of the night watching movies and talking about more lighthearted topics. I looked around the room at my friends and boyfriend. Friends, plural, and boyfriend. It felt so weird to say that. Earlier this year I was a much different person. I only talked to Nat. The thought of speaking to anyone else was the most terrifying thing in the world to me. I lived my life in constant fear and anxiety, haunted by a ghost from my past. But here I was now, sitting in a living room in my boyfriend's arms, surrounded by my best friends. Tomorrow I'd be celebrating the birthday of the love of my life, and a few weeks after that I'll watch him graduate high school. My life was at a place I never thought it could be. I felt free, I felt safe, I felt alive. And for the first time possibly ever, I felt happiness. 

A/N: We're getting near the end. The last chapter is probably going to be Trent graduating! I really just want to thank everyone who has read even a chapter of this story, we're close to 2 thousand reads and that is just absolutely insane. Writing is really just a hobby for me, something I do for fun so I literally had no expectations of people reading this, and it means so much that people have.