the end of the end

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“What is this?” Zayn asks, throwing the newspaper at Liam's feet.

Liam doesn't need to see what it is, the moment he sees a girl wearing yellow on the cover, he knows. He knew this would happen, and he had thought about how he was going to explain this, but now when he sees tears falling down Zayn's cheeks, every word in his mind just vanishes leaving behind nothing but cold, dark blankness.

He lets go off the glass of water he was going to drink from, reaching out to touch Zayn's shoulder. To pull him in, to encase him in his arms, assure him that they are fine, it was nothing. That Sophia was all over him and he couldn't push her away because he was so fucking angry and miserable and drunk and tired to do so. But Zayn won't allow that, he takes a step back, distancing himself from Liam. Liam feels his heart start to crack from the seam.

“No,” Zayn says, “I don't want you to touch me right now, no.”

Liam gulps, holding back his tears because he has to be strong, “You have to listen to me, okay? You have to.”

“I don't know if I want to, I've seen enough and I've read enough,” Zayn shouts in between incoherent sobs, “You asked me to stay away from Perrie and I did, you asked me to be rude to her, I also did that. And look at you, look at you all over this new Danielle! Am I the only one who has to follow all orders from everyone? Even you! When you go and have the best time of your life? Don't tell me you did it because they asked you to because I'm not that stupid! I didn't want to believe what shit they were saying on twitter but then I saw this newspaper on the street and fuck you! Fuck you and your whore of a model girlfriend!”

“I wasn't having the time of my life, okay Zayn?” Liam says the exact moment Zayn shuts his mouth, “All that I was, was drunk! I was out of my mind! I didn't know what I was doing, I was alone so I kept drinking. And do you want to know why? Because you weren't there god damn it! You weren't there on my birthday and you always are! Sorry if its my fucking fault to expect a burnt cake lying beside me when I wake up! And you put so many candles on it to hide its hideous state! I am sorry if the first person I wanted to see was you, I am sorry if I searched everywhere for you, I am sorry if you didn't pick up my calls, and I am sorry if I want to be with you so much that it makes me crazy mad when you are not with me!”

“Were you crazy mad enough to sleep with her? Since you did everything from kissing her to gluing your body and face against hers in front of so many fucking cameras!”

“For fuck's sake Zayn! I didn't even go home with her, I came back here because here is you! I didn't mean to do any of the things that I did. I didn't know what I was doing! I was angry at so many things, specially you! I wanted to make you feel what I feel when you roam around with Perrie with her sick hand in yours!”

“You didn't have to make me feel that Liam. Just so you know, I have been feeling that exact same thing for the past two years!”

Liam swallows, “You could have told me you were leaving, you could have texted me or called or anything!”

“I didn't have the time, I didn't have my phone on me, I was supposed to spend time with her. How could you even fucking think I wouldn't call you if I could? I don't know you right now Liam, I just can't-”

“I am sorry alright, I am so fucking sorry!” Liam shouts, punching the kitchen counter because the wall is too far, “I am nothing but a scared insecure jackass inside and I am sorry for that!”

The punch is hard, he hears his knuckles crack and maybe he's just damaged all his fingers. Zayn is by his side in a jiffy, unexpectedly.

“Liam,” his voice is laced with concern and hurt, all the same.

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