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The silence in the SUV is excruciating. It’s excruciatingly painful, uncomfortable and dreadful. Excruciating.
Zayn is sitting with his forehead pressed against the window, his left side pressed against Liam. He refuses to look at anything, focusing on the life outside that passes like a blur as the vehicle rushes forward. Liam is also staring out the window, not acknowledging the three other people in the SUV.
Both the boys don’t really know how they feel yet. They had just been ordered to do things they aren’t ready for. Just when they thought everything was going fine, just when things had started to go back to lazy and happy from hectic and anxious, their lives had been pushed the other way round, and all of it because of three people who they trusted with their god damn lives.
Betrayal hurts like hell. But betrayal in friendship, that hurts like a bitch.
Zayn feels a foot nudge his shin, he knows its Harry. Obviously, it’s Harry. Zayn stares pointedly out the window, signifying that he doesn’t want to talk. Not for the next hundred years at least.
“Zee?” Harry finally says, Zayn senses Liam turn his head to look at Harry. He can only imagine the look on Liam’s face, doesn’t bother to check if his imagination is accurate.
It must be, because Harry doesn’t say anything after that. Zayn holds a tear, and continues ignoring everything, his heart isn’t working. It’s just aching. Liam’s touch normally calms his senses, but right now it’s just reminding him of what lies ahead.
He is not ready to give his name to a person who isn’t Liam Payne. Liam Malik sounds best, Zayn Payne sounds more best. It sounds right, its sounds like it was meant to be. Zayn will never let a band be slipped on his finger by someone who isn’t Liam. He won’t even buy a ring for someone who isn’t Liam. Not even if it’s not for real.
It’s funny how his life is such a big scripted movie, controlled by people he didn’t even know until he was sixteen. Sometimes, the idea of God just fails him completely. Like what are You even doing up there letting these bastards control my life? Why are You not helping, why can’t You fucking see me breaking, why did You have to choose Liam for me and then make it all so difficult? You think you are funny but no You are not. Thank You for giving me Liam though, I still don’t understand You.
To be honest, Zayn just wants the car to stop and for once write the story of his life himself. A single chapter at least, just a chapter. Only like twenty five thousand words, just the way he wants – which right now would be jumping out of the car, grabbing Liam and running away from everything.
“We should talk.”
It’s Louis who brings Zayn back to reality. Fuck, Louis. He might think it’s easy to talk now, but he doesn’t know a single thing, because it’s not easy to talk when Zayn literally wants to punch him everywhere and by the looks of it, Liam wants to rip him apart.
“Go fuck yourself,” Liam snaps at him.
“You need to calm the fuck down!” Louis shouts instantly.
Zayn just stares back at him while Liam voices his thoughts for him, “Don’t make me do something I will regret later, not before the interview at least.”
Louis is foolish because he asks, “Really? What are you going to do Liam, kill me?”
“Yes. I swear to fucking god, I will.”
The tenacity in Liam’s voice is such that it makes all the color drain out of Louis’ face, leaving a pale deathly yellowness behind. Zayn watches, he relishes in it. Seventy two hours ago, he would have stood up for Louis if Liam had been this rude to him, but now. Things have changed.
And it shows. It’s crystal clear. Because when Louis looks at Zayn, his face a mask of disbelief, Zayn just glares at him with every particle of hatred present in him, and turns back to staring out the window. He hears a sniff, Niall or Harry he doesn’t know. Or care.
The excruciating silence returns. Only now, it’s louder than before as Zayn hears bonds breaking, links shattering and the pledges of friendship crashing down all around him.
Sadly, he doesn’t give a fuck.
