Hello Again (a Tom Hiddleston fanfic)

January 2013: Revelations

*A/N: It's not a lot...but it's what I've got for now! :) P.S. I made up the names of the castles in this chapter, so sorry I suck at all that jazz.

I’m staring blankly out the window in front of my desk. Out over the lovely English countryside, but nothing’s really registering.  It’s all a blur to me.  The misty, gray green grass and the sloping grounds of Cleredon House, just screaming for Mr. Darcy to come stalking down the estate.

But it’s not Mr. Darcy on my mind.  Not at all.

“Gracie.” Mary’s voice brings me out of my reverie, and I turn quickly to face where she’s sitting just across the room.  She’s staring at me, an amused look on her face.

“Hi.” I say dumbly, feeling my cheeks flush, knowing I’ve been caught daydreaming.

“You were a thousand miles away.” She grins, looking more delighted than annoyed.  I roll my eyes and laugh.

“Not quite that far.” I sigh. Just a few hundred.   She raises an eyebrow at me and then sits back in her chair, crossing her arms.

“It was that good, eh? Your holiday.” She has been bugging me all day to give her details about Christmas, but I have refused anything other than it being ‘pleasant’.  I can’t quite talk about it.  It still doesn’t feel totally real to me.

“Mary.” I sigh, but I can’t help but smile.

“Ohhh, you! You’re getting on with that Tom, aren’t you?” She sits up, then stands and comes around to my desk, leaning against the edge of it.  I press my hands to my face, shaking my head.  I feel like I can’t talk about it. It’s too soon. I don’t even know what it is.  All I do know is, it was terribly hard to leave Sandbanks on the day after Christmas, knowing that Tom would be there for another few days. Santos had been equally upset I was leaving, but I couldn’t leave Mary alone at Cleredon to fend off the holiday crowds.

“We spent the night together. It was…” I drift off.   Mary looks at me with moony eyes, her mind wandering to similar places as mine, I’m sure.

“You’d never spent the night together? Is he the type to leave right after? Or, no, that would be you.” She says, tilting her head teasingly.  I scoff at her and grin.

“No, we have.  But there was just something different about this time.”

“It’s about time.  You’ve two have been playing around for awhile, right?” She asks.  I shrug.

“I’ve known him about two years.  Things have changed, I guess.” I glance at my phone, and see it light up.  He’s been texting me ever since I left.  From the moment I stepped on to the ferry, to today—just a few days after New Years.  I had spent my New Years with Mary at the pub near my flat.  I received, mere moments after midnight, a series of texts from Tom and Santos, who were still together with Tom’s family at the beach house.

The first photo was Tom pouting, with “Happy New Years from lonely kiss-less Tom.”

The second photo was Tom, smushed between Santos and Cillian.  Cillian was kissing Tom on the cheek and Santos had his tongue out mere inches from Tom’s face.  “Since you’re not here, I’ve decided to try an alternate lifestyle.” This one made me laugh until I was nearly crying.  It was now the background photo on my phone.

The third photo was everyone still at Sandbanks, crowded into one photo.  Tom was in the middle, Santos and Cillian still smushed at his sides.  Mrs. Hiddleston’s head is poking from behind them.  Mark’s chin and chest is visible next to her, and just the side of Emily’s head appears next to his chest.  “Miss you!” Tom had texted. I’d felt my cold, lumpy little heart squeeze tight, and despite spending my New Years in a crowded pub full of strangers, it was one of the better ones.