On and Offline - 사랑해 [Part 2 of New Text Received]

12

Alison's POV

Not knowing where to go I wandered through the endless hallways of the building. I was so freaking mad at Jisung! I just needed to get away from everything and everyone and after running up the stairs for half an eternity I suddenly found myself on the rooftop. The air was warm and I had a stunning view over the whole city. Even though the atmosphere was beautiful, my anger didn't vanish. Damn! How could Jisung be such a jerk!? As I was standing there, all my thoughts gathered and I tried to arrange them. We can't make our relationship public! That would literally destroy Jisung's career and also the reputation of Stray Kids and the whole entertainment.

Suddenly I heard a noise behind me and when I turned around I saw Han standing in the heavy door. ,,Here you are! I have been searching the complete building!" he said trying to catch his breath. ,,Why would a jerk like you be looking for me?" I responded annoyed. Now that I saw him my eyes were immediately filled with tears. ,,What? A jerk like me? I am sorry that I am worried about you!", Han snorted with a sarcastic undertone. ,,No, stop! If you really worried about me, you wouldn't have ignored me earlier! I don't know about you but in my opinion there are always two people in a relationship and i think decisions like going public is something we should decide together!" I couldn't hold my anger anymore. ,, Oh come on! You can't tell me that you don't want our relationship to be public! Like, what else should we do? Deny it? Come on, everyone knows that the boy in the picture is me!" Slowly we both started heating up and I really had to get myself together not to shout at Jisung. Well, that didn't go too well though. ,,No, I don't want our relationship to be public! Have you even thought about all the consequences of making our relationship public? Are you even aware of what would happen if the world knew we're a couple?" My voice was shaking so hard when I really started yelling. Jisung narrowed his eyes to slits and yelled back at me furiously. ,,Yes, believe it or not, I actually thought about that! I know not a single one of these consequences is acceptable, but this issue won't be a hot topic forever! It'll just last for a short period of time and then nobody will remember that anything happened!" ,,Oh yeah, sure! They will just forget, right? But reality is: They won't! And let's say they would really forget, I will remember! I don't know what we will have to face if it's being announced publicly and more importantly, I don't know if I can endure it. What if it turns out to cause heavy accusations and controversies so that JYP needs to kick you out of the group? A scandal like that could destroy your future and also the future of the boys! And if you would still date me after such a scandal, what would we make a living from? Why are you so selfish and just neglect the facts?" ,,Ally, listen to me!" he said, took my hand and looked straight into my eyes. ,,I am selfish because I want the best for you and me... and right now it seems like you don't know what's the best for me" "So you wanna break up with me? Thinking of that, it would actually be the easiest ting to do, right?", I snapped. "Oh Alison, come on! You're being freaking stubborn. Listen to me! I just want to be with you and be happy with you! Alison..." Normally when he'd say my name like that, my heart would have already exploded but not this time. ,,Alison, hey look at me..." His voice got very soft but I just couldn't forgive him that easily. I said I could never be seriously angry at him. Well, I'll take that back. I AM angry and I'm afraid it won't just end in smoke  So I freed my wrist from his strong grip and turned around. ,,I am sorry, Jisung. I just don't understand why you're being like that." I heard Jisung taking a deep breath. Then he sternly countered: ,,I also don't get why you have absolutely no understanding for me." I heard that he turned around and warningly started to shout at him. ,,Think about me as well! You can't tell me you don't remember what happened at the fansign event. What if those stupid sasaengs found out where I live!? Jisung, my life, your life and even Ari's life would be at risk! Don't you understand that I am scared! I am so freaking scared!" my voice collapsed at the end and the last words only came out as a whisper. I started crying so bitterly. But Jisung seemed not to care at all. Through my teary eyes I saw the door snapping shut. I was alone. I leaned against the wall behind me and slowly slided down until I felt the cold floor. I just sat there crying my eyes out. There was nothing I could've done. Was that his answer? Leaving me behind alone?

I don't know for how long I've been sitting there but when I forced myself to stand up again, the sky was already coloured red as the sun began to set. I looked down at the city and out of nowhere I wished to be home in Australia with my family more than ever before. I wanted to sit in the living room and play board games like we always used to. The door bell would ring and I would know that it was Aria, of course. We would play board games with my family until late in the night. And after that we would talk all night, joking around and having teary eyes because of laughter. Oh god, I wanna go back! Suddenly the door was opened. I didn't turn around. I didn't want to see him. Who else would it be! Nobody knew. I'm here. But when I heard Ari's sweet voice, I suddenly felt home. I threw myself into her arms and burst out into tears again. She just stood there patting my back, letting it happen and was just there for me. I felt like she was the only person in this world that understood me and that I could trust. "Aria, I-I c...", I tried to talk to her sobbing heavily. "Shhh, it's alright. I'm right here by your side"
Thank you