The Halls of Westwood [BxB]

Chapter 23

"Shit" Beau whispered as he wiped his tear-stained cheeks. He stared down at the piling homework. Lukas would have yelled at him for that one... In fact, Lukas wouldn't have let it get stacked so high in the first place. He would have sat down with Beau and talked him through each problem...

The door opened and Aiden walked in carrying another stack of papers. He hadn't been there as often... He would stop by to deliver homework and occasionally managed to drag Beau down to the cafeteria to eat something. But that was it. Beau hated feeling so distant from him... Some days all he wanted was Aiden. Other days, all he wanted was Lukas and he had to push Aiden away or else it felt like a betrayal.

"Hey..." Aiden seemed impressed to see Beau out of bed and sitting at his desk... Even when he wasn't actually doing any homework.

"Hi" Beau forced a bright smile. His voice was strained from crying. He had definitely lost weight after a few weeks of minimal food. His eyes were baggy and he hadn't felt like the usual pretty boy everyone teased him for being. He didn't feel good about himself or the world around him at this point in his life...

"I added you to mine and Tai's group for a presentation in Physics... All you have to do is show up on presentation day and we've got the rest covered" Beau felt his stomach drop with guilt and he quickly brought his knees to his chest.

"You don't have to do that... I'll take the F" Beau reasoned.

"I don't mind" Aiden shrugged. "Tai actually suggested it... He wants you to get better almost as much as I do"

"How is he?" Beau blindly asked. Only because it felt polite... Sometimes he was jealous of Tai. Other times, he wanted Aiden to be with Tai more than anything. Tai was good for Aiden...

"He's okay" Aiden shrugged. "He plays guitar so we went down to the guitar shop and messed around for a little bit" he admitted. Beau nodded and found himself becoming very fixated with a fake rose Markos had made him out of starburst wrappers. He ignored Aiden as the boy inspected his bedstand. "Did you take your medication?" Aiden sighed as he finally found the small pill capsule.

"Maybe... I don't remember at this point" Beau sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's all just a blur..."

"They changed them" Aiden blindly commented.

"They have me on antipsychotics too now" Beau huffed. "Apparently, it isn't normal to see your dead ex-boyfriend everywhere you look"

"Beau..." Aiden sighed. "Please just tell me what I can do to help... And please just be honest with me"

"I don't know... Some days all I want is to lay in bed with you back at my house and watch movies... I want to talk to you... To be around you... And then the next day all I want is for you to leave... I'm so confused about everything" Beau groaned before burying his face in his hands.

"It's because you don't want me" Aiden sighed before taking a seat on Beau's bed and turning to face the freckled-faced boy.

"Yes I do"

"You like the idea of me, Beau... You like that I distract you. I've been through this a million times and it always ends the same way" Aiden tried to keep his voice steady, but it was growing difficult. "You don't want me like that" Beau fell silent, his eyes narrowed slightly in defiance although he couldn't bring himself to meet Aiden's gaze.

"You don't know what I want or how I feel" Beau decided after a long moment of silence.

"You want Lukas"

"Obviously" Beau groaned as he roughly pinched the bridge of his nose. "But if you think I'm seeking comfort in you then you're wrong... If I was looking for someone to replace Lukas it wouldn't be you... You're nothing alike" That was the truth... Even if it was a harsh one.