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"Hey Ms. Charles, I'm going to be your therapist for this process. How has your morning been?" The therapist asked with a welcoming smile.
"It's been pretty good, how about you?" I asked smiling.
Chile you know I'm nervous as shit you can see it on my damn face, got my heart in my ass...
"I am doing well, so what topics would feel like talking about today?"
"Well, basically my whole past, childhood and all. I just trying to change myself for the better"
"That is wonderful and I will definitely help to get you there, so let's start with your younger years"
"Alright, so I was raised by my grandma. I was eventually left with her because my parents were so busy with work. So they never really had time for me."
"And when you say they never really spent time with you how did you feel?"
Aaahh shit I feel the waterworks coming. You a real bitch hold it in can't be ugly crying in front of this lady...
"It made me feel like they didn't want me. They missed majority of the important things in my life and if they weren't late then they wouldn't come. "
"Ok, if they missed an important event in your life would they congratulate you in any way?" While handing me a tissue box.
"Honestly no, they never really cared to ask me about anything I had going on and that's why I used to act out."
"What type of things would you do to act out?"
"I would fight a lot, disobey and disrespect adults and all that but it never worked so I stopped"
"Do you have a bond or any connection with them now that you got older?"
"No. I don't and I don't really want one with them." I said being honest.
I was crying out for support but they just never paid me no mind. When all the kids brought their parents to spend a day with them at school, I sat there feeling lonely even though I had my grandma with me.
I just wanted to have that parent love like everyone else. But I didn't get that. I wonder did they ever think about me.
But I don't support from nobody no more tho just me and my own.
"Alright imma going to give you some homework, it's not gonna be after session and it's not gonna be a huge assignment."
"I want you to get a hold of your parents and tell them how feel about them leaving you. We'll start the next session with talking about that. Can you handle that?"
"I can and thank you for helping me," I said while getting up shaking the hand.
No problem hun, I'll see you the next session have a good rest of your day." she said smiling.
"You too." while walking out the office door.
Welp, I guess I gotta actually talk to them now. To just get past it.
Orrr I can just say fuck em and scam em but I can't do that grandma would kick my ass with that Jesus sandal...
_______________________
Now I gotta find how I'm gonna get a hold of them. Grams would of helped me but she not here. So Auntie Tiff it is.
I called her twice but she sent me to voicemail which she never does. She got a man and don't know how to act, pop up at her house it is.
Gone try and play me I'll karate kick her ass she ain't that old...
"Auntie Tiff you here?" While going through the screen door looking around.
"Hey, Mimi baby I was just gonna call you back. You said you needed to ask about something."
"Yea, I was wondering if you still have my mom and dad's number by chance?" I said while getting nervous.
"I do I'm gonna send them to you one second." She said grabbing her phone.
" you ready to talk to them?"
Hell nah nikki...
"Not really but I need answers."
"And you deserve them. I sent their numbers to you and if you feel like one of em need they ass beat call me" she said while winking.
"I got you, thank you TT." while laughing
"Nobody problem baby tell me how it goes." She said while hugging me.
"Definitely, I'll see ya later." Leaving out the door.
"Bye baby."
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Making my way to the car I called Niqo so we can meet up and have the conversation I've been wanting to have for a minute. But I got no answer, I called again.. no answer.
Man, I really miss him, I gotta fix it...
I finally got back to my apartment Took a shower and cooked some chicken and rice. Sitting on my couch contemplating if I should text them now or later.
Now was the time to get the answers that I've been looking for. There is no backing out now
Maybe: mom
Hey, this is your daughter Milani, I was wondering if me, you and dad can meet up and talk ?
