{Hisoka x reader Angst }

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I am writing a hisoka x reader angst because I can't seem to find a lot of those  if you know some Hisoka x reader Angst PLEASE recommend some to me- (is totally not head over heels for hisoka *coughs*)  Anyways- I see some of y'all adding my book to your reading list and it makes very happy <3 Hope you enjoy the story! 

There were many worlds that exists in the universe...there were worlds where you couldn't see colors until you meet your soulmates or worlds where you could communicate your soulmate by writing on one of your body parts. But you live in a world where if you meet your soulmate you cannot forget their birthday. If they did...no one knows what will happen since there were different punishment that were given. 

The first time you met those pale yellow eyes in the Heaven arena you knew he was the one. The soothing and sweet flirtatious tone he talk in, his pale skin that matches his clown outfit, his red hair that was gel up and his attitude would probably make you back away from him but you were the opposite you were drawn to him like a magnet. You still can remember very well the first time you met like it was yesterday. 

"Hm~ Where did your mind wander off to~" Hisoka's whisper beside your ears made you snap back to reality. You turn around to find the clown in his usual outfit smiling like he usually does. 

"Oh sorry I was...just thinking about something" you replied making him pout at your obvious answer. You were in an apartment you and Hisoka shared. The clown was barley home but he visited from time to time to make sure you were okay. You were sat in a chair near the window while Hisoka was standing by your side. He kneel down to give you a kiss on the cheek. 

"Huh- What was that for??" you asked surprised by his sign of affection. 

"Hm~ I just missed you~" he replied while chuckling at your reaction. He walked to the bathroom probably to shower leaving you alone. You sighed as you started to relax into the chair. 

After a few more what seems like hours you fell asleep peacefully. Suddenly, you felt a pair of strong arms carrying you bridal style from the chair. You knew it was the clown so you just continue to go back to your slumber. 

"Not waking up I see" Hisoka said in a low tone. Instantly, you felt him threw you into the bed and you felt the weight on the edge of the bed signaling that he was on it. 

You open your eyes to see him on you his arms on either side of your head. He started kissing every inches of your face making you giggle. 

"Wai-" you were trying to say something when you were interrupted when you felt his lips on yours. It wasn't heated like it would usually be it was...passionate and surprisingly tender. It lasted for a few minutes when he pulled away and looked at you seriously in the eyes.

"You know I love you right?" he said making you nod cautiously. 

"And that I want to protect you right??" he added. 

"Well I do know how to- wait why are you saying this all of the sudden...it's almost as if..." you narrowed your eyes at him in suspicion. He flopped down on your right side on the bed and chuckled. 

"Hisoka?" you asked your voice quivering. You had the slightest feeling that he was going to leave you. You waited for an answer but there wasn't any. You sighed getting tired from all those guessing games so you fell asleep instead. 

~~~~~

You woke up to the sound of shuffling somewhere. You opened your eyes and sat up to investigate the source of the noise. Hisoka was no where to be found so you shrug it off since he was always like that. You decided to get ready for the morning as you go to the bathroom to find a note stick on the mirror. 

Going to be gone for a while (Y/N)~

                                                                   - Hisoka 

You sighed "a while" probably will mean a year for him. Well you just hope he will contact you. 


~~~~~~~~

Days stretched on and you didn't mind Hisoka leaving. He was going to come back some day and apologize just like always...right? Soon, days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. And Y/N couldn't help but get this feeling inside. Maybe... Just maybe he was gone after all.  (credits to my bootiful friend brighty for this paragraph *i was stuck and i didn't know how to write* T~T)

~~~~~~~~

Your eyes bored into the clock as if trying to stare a hole into it. It was almost midnight...and that means it was almost your birthday soon. Every second passed your heart felt heavier, every minute makes your breath quicker. You were scared of what was going to happened. It's almost a year and he still hasn't come home. What if he forget you birthday...? He won't right he loves you very much...doesn't he...?

You would give up anything for him to show up at the doorstep any minute. You glare at the door as if expecting him to slam it open and yell "Happy Birthday~~~". But nothing happened and that just make you lose your nerves. You couldn't just wait in here any longer. 

You put on your jacket and stormed out of the apartment like some kid who didn't get what they wanted. Well you were a person who didn't get what they wanted. A simple happy birthday wish from your boyfriend. As if that's gonna happen. That jester was always busy with whatever he was doing.

You huffed at that thought. You made your way to the convenience store to grab some snacks. Walking to the snack aisle you notice a certain red head behind a shelf. You weren't dreaming were you...? 

You quickly peak over to confirm it. Yep it is that red head that was gone for almost a year. You were about to reach out to him when you saw a certain girl running over to him and wrapping her arms around his. Fawning like some fangirl. It makes you wanna grab a shopping cart and threw it at her. 

Hisoka didn't even obliged he just walked out of the store with her making you feel like shit. Oh? So he was cheating this whole time?? He didn't walk out of the apartment for a year to protect or to deal with some job?? You couldn't describe the feeling you felt. They were like paint in water. Slowly blending together, different colors, combining into a new one. 

All you could feel was anger, sadness and disgust. You wanted to expose him but you couldn't. You just kept quiet and tried to get away from them as soon as possible. Once you got home you locked the down feeling as empty as a ghost shell. You slide down to the floor. You clinched your hands to your chest as the truth strikes you...He wasn't there...he will never be...he was gone...He will never come back...You started to feel your tear clouding your vision. The pain made you remember something someone said long ago... 

 "You have ever right to be hurt...the pain will be never ending like the rain...the rain is like your tears...so quiet yet everlasting...the lighting and thunder are your voice...screaming for any comfort and trying to get rid of the pain...but people tend to ignore them...but...when it stopped raining there will be the sun that will dried up the rain...I am sure you will find that person (Y/N)" You found him...You found him and yet...he was the person who was being the cloud that caused the rain...He was your sun but now...he was the cloud that blocked the sun...You couldn't take it anymore....the pain in your heart felt like it was being tortured with needles...you wanted it to stop...you didn't care if you have to stab your own heart to make it stop it was just so excruciating you couldn't stand it...it hurts more than you expected it to be...but...it was addicting at the same time...you found yourself curled up in the corner sobbing quietly...

You closed your eyes wanting to disappear from everything in this world. You hated everything...

After hours of what felt like screaming and crying you tried to collect yourself to take shower...

huh? Why is everything so dark..? You were sure you turned of the lights...? You tried to search for the switch but you noticed it was on...wait this can't be...Hisoka...he...he actually did forgot about your birthday...

That just made all effort to try and stay calm at lost. You couldn't even describe the pain anymore. All you knew was that...

It hurts...




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