✓ flower petals || yang jungwon

037: wait

"Of course. What is there to misunderstand?" I turned to look ahead with a smile, avoiding his gaze, "We were both too tired to even think straight. It was in the middle of the night. I mean- We are friends right? Best friends? A mere kiss shouldn't affect our friendship, don't you think? It's really nothing, don't worry."

Since when did I get this good at lying?
I closed my eyes, processing everything what I just said.
I wanted to leave this place so bad. After all I couldn't even look him in the face.
But running away like I always did is just going to complicate everything more and more.

I needed to stay strong. At least in front of him.

"I'm glad we think the same about this, Eunji." Jungwon breathed out, a smile tugging his lips as he closed his eyes as well, "I thought..you were going to stop being my friend for once and all. I already was worried."

"I would never." The forced smile was still on my lips, that it started to hurt at this point.
Every single word that came out of my mouth were lies.
It made me feel sick.

"Alright then let's forget everything that happened yesterday." He casually spoke, making me look down.

"Yeah. Let's forget about it."

Just like that everything that happened yesterday was never mentioned ever again. And my happiness was gone and crushed in mere minutes.

eunji's p.o.v

"Fucking hell, he did not just say that." Sangmi cursed, her eyes full of fury.
She couldn't believe it.
Why would Jungwon say something like that?

"But I understand him." Eunji looked down, "H-he thought he was going to lose his grandma that day. His emotions got all mixed up and he probably just needed..comfort. He was scared. Lost..." Eunji's voice trailed off, "I understand him."

"But I don't. He said it was a mistake, knowing very well that you don't accidentally kiss someone- That's just messed up." Sangmi shook her head, her eyes full of disbelief, "And telling you to forget it as if nothing happened? You like him-"

"Listen Sangmi, He doesn't know. He doesn't know I like him." Eunji gently spoke, taking her friend's hand with a warm smile.

Sangmi stared at her.

"Tell me, what did he say again? Something around the lines it's different when he is with you?" Sangmi's voice was a lot calmer. Her expression was determined but at the same time bitter.

"What?"

"Before he kissed you. He told you something."

There was a short silence where Eunji rethought the moment she thought Jungwon actually liked her back, as her expression dropped.
"He said..that he feels different around me. And that he can't get used to it."

"That's it. Eunji, Listen." Sangmi grabbed both the girl's shoulders and looked into her eyes, "Jungwon likes you back. He returns your feelings."

Their was a silence, where Eunji stared at her friend in disbelief. Her expression soon turned into shock, before Eunji broke down completely, bawling her eyes out and making Sangmi's eyes widen.
This was not the reaction Sangmi expected.

"W-what's wrong, Eunji? Why are you crying-"

"Do you know how embarrassing this is for me?" Eunji's voice broke, "Hearing this, coming out of your mouth. Sangmi, seriously this isn't helping me."

Eunji cried and cried her tears never stopping. At this point it got too much and overwhelmed her completely.

"I'm sorry, Sangmi. I don't want to be angry at you. This is not your fault. You are not doing anything wrong, but...why..."

Of course Eunji wasn't happy hearing this, because that's exactly what she told herself when Jungwon kissed her.
She, herself thought that he finally might like her back, but that turned out to be terribly wrong when the boy told her the next day how he wasn't himself and that it was a mistake.
And hearing this from Sangmi, the girl Jungwon actually liked- No, loved, was just a total slap back to reality for her.

"W-what?" Sangmi stuttered, still confused.

"Sangmi, you don't even know how humiliating this is for me. He said himself that it was a mistake! An accident! He didn't mean anything. The kiss didn't mean anything to him." Eunji finally lost her mind, not caring about anything.

She had been keeping her thoughts to herself all along, afraid to hurt the people around her, but now she couldn't take it anymore.
"You know what? I'm gonna be honest, I want to be you. I want to be you so bad just to know how it is to be loved by...him." Eunji laughed, looking down not even trying to wipe away her tears anymore, "We are friends, Sangmi. Close friends, but everytime I look at you...all I can think of is how he's in love with you. Tell me, why do I feel so bitter?"

"Eunji.." Sangmi didn't know what to say, "But listen, I'm serious..He does like you back, I'm sure-"

"Then why am I still throwing up flowers? Why is this still happening if Jungwon actually liked me back?" Eunji shook her head.

"He just hasn't admitted it yet!"

"W-what?"

"Jungwon does like you back. He is just not sure of his own feelings." Sangmi's determined voice returned, as she looked into Eunji's eyes deeply, "I know him. The way he acts around you isn't normal. If you just get him to realise his feelings for you-"

"Stop."

"But it's-"

"There's not much time left, you know that right?" Eunji looked down, her hair falling forward.

"What?"

"Before it's all over. " Eunji's voice was different this time, It made Sangmi frown.

"You mean..before the surgery?" Sangmi asked.

Eunji continued, "I will be set free, Sangmi. I won't need to suffer anymore, but if you say something like this..." She looked down, "I will hesitate."

"Hesitate..?" Sangmi's eyes widened, "Y-you can't hesitate! You need to get the surgery done-"

"Sangmi, I know. Hesitating would just ruin my whole plan. Especially now when not much time is left." Eunji sighed, her tears abruptly stopping. She came to accept the situation, "So please don't get my hopes high."

"But-" Sangmi started. She was sure that Jungwon had feelings for Eunji, but judging from Eunji's reaction it would be better to stop talking about it.

Eunji shook her head, "I'm begging you..don't say stuff like that."

"Eunji, I'm sorry." Sangmi spoke, "I didn't expect you to take it that way."

"It's alright." Eunji quickly reassured her, putting her hand on top of Sangmi's, "It will be all over soon."

And she was right.
It will be all over soon.

Sooner than she expected.

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