Knee Pads

05 | grand slam

          "Listen, I know how it sounds—"

          "To be perfectly fair, it sounds like you're antagonizing Corinne for no good reason," she chimed in, now standing with her back turned to me, and it felt like a punch to the stomach. Out of all the ways this conversation could have gone, I never expected her to fully take Corinne's side or to have her join the dark side—Corinne's cult. "There was no good outcome to that situation and she chose the one that would hurt you both the least. Personally, I'd rather have my clothes get soaked, dirty, and ruined than to be run over by a bike and risk breaking some bones or, like, dying."

          I fell back to my bed, hands folded over my stomach, eyes glued to the ceiling. If I looked at Katrina, I'd feel the sharp sting of betrayal all over again; she, too, had crossed me, like Theo had done. I felt so stupid, knowing something so humiliatingly small had infuriated me as much as this, and I hated that I was giving Corinne this much power.

          "It doesn't matter," I said. "Am I not allowed to hold grudges?"

          She shrugged. "Yeah, but don't let them consume you. They'll poison your every thought."

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          I regretted everything about my birthday party.

          I carried a cup of water with me everywhere I went, making sure to always refill the ice just so people didn't give me a hard time over my distaste for alcoholic beverages. I knew there would be a point in the night when most of them would be too drunk to care, but I still wanted to be as far away from those people as humanly possible.

          Katrina had asked the sorority girls for help with the party so, naturally, they'd let her take the house and decorate. Things looked eerily similar to that first party, except we now had birthday decorations, complete with banners and colorful strings of lights spread around the house. I walked around with a tiara on my head to let everyone know I was Wren, The Birthday Girl, and it was absolutely mortifying to be hugged and congratulated by people I didn't even know.

          Contrary to the last party, I didn't have the luxury to sulk behind Katrina this time. I was still pissed at her for taking Corinne's side, out of all things, and I didn't need that negativity on my birthday. It wasn't like I cared that much about my birthday, even though I was turning twenty-one, but it was still my special day in theory, damn it, and Corinne wasn't going to ruin it, be it directly or indirectly.

          Fortunately for me, the rest of the roller derby girls seemed to like me—at the very least, they tolerated my presence, as one would treat a stray cat. Katrina hung around, as they'd been her friends since long before they met me, but I was secretly thankful they didn't leave me hanging on my own birthday. Marley, in particular, seemed pretty invested in making me a part of their clique.

          We'd never talked about it, but part of me felt like I should set up some ground rules. I was not interested in relationships, regardless of how cool and interesting she was, and I needed her to not expect anything else from me besides a casual thing. I had neither the time nor the interest in serious relationships and I didn't really want to get her hopes up.

          "Has anyone seen Corinne, like, at all?" one of the girls questioned. Katrina shot me a pointed look from the corner of her eye, as though she thought I'd kicked Corinne out of the party. "She asked me to go get her something to drink, then she just disappeared into thin air."

          I sipped my drink to avoid saying I hoped she would do just that.

          "She probably left," Marley replied. "It's not like she even wanted to come in the first place." I tightened my fingers around my cup. Now that was just unnecessary. "No offense, Wren, but it really isn't about you. Today's just not a good day for Corinne and your birthday just happened to land on the same day."