Bringing Back Hallie

Bringing Back Hallie: Chapter Twenty-Two

So I sit up in my bed, bringing the covers just over my knees, and then call out for the person to come in. 

My mom hesitantly pokes her head through the door, concern and sympathy written on her face, kind of surprising me. I thought she'd be mad at me for Ethan's leaving, that she'd blame it on me. Never did I think that she'd actually look like she wanted to help me.  

She asks, "Is it alright if I come in?" 

Hesitantly I nod, thinking about how good one of her hugs would feel right now. Sure my mom and I haven't had the best relationship in the world, but her hugs are out of this world. Honestly, I'd take a hug from just about anyone right now. I'm dying for something, something to just make me feel a little bit better.  

She comes and sits on my bed, looking at me like she's trying to appraise where I am emotionally, like she wants to know if I'll reach out and bite her or not. She asks, "How are you doing?" 

And it's then that I once against feel tears start to sprinkle their way down my cheeks. Now that someone's here and asking me if I'm okay, I realize how utterly not okay I am. I feel like shit, I am shit, and I don't think there's anything that's going to make me feel any better. I shake my head, not knowing what to say, and before I can even mumble anything close to coherent, my mom's pulled me against her and has given me my first hug in what feels like forever. 

She strokes my hair and murmurs to me that it's going to be okay, that everything's going to work itself out in the end. Typical mom sayings when their kids are having emotional breakdowns. But even though I know it's not true, even though I know nothing's going to work out in my favor, it stills makes me feel just a little smidgen less awful. 

I murmur, "I just don't understand why he didn't believe me. Why would I cheat on him? Why?" 

She says, "I'm going to tell you a story, okay? It might help." 

I nod, willing to do just about anything to help out with this shitty situation. She says, "I know what it feels like to be cheated on." 

My heart sinks to the bottom of my stomach and I look up at her in shock and awe, my jaw dropping. I exclaim, "Dad cheated on you?!" 

"No," she chuckles, shaking her head calmly back and forth. It's then that I find it okay to breath, my world having stopped for just a moment. While my dad can be kind of kooky sometimes, he's still the best, most faithful man I know. It'd make me lose all hope in humanity if my dad hadn't been faithful to my mom. "But I thought he did." 

"Why?" I ask her meekly, wondering if it'll give me any kind of insight into why Ethan wouldn't listen to me. I understand the seeing me kissing Fred part, that part kind of speaks for itself, but it still doesn't explain why he was so adamant to not believe me.  

She says, "When you love someone, the way I love your father and the way I know Ethan loves you, all of the feelings towards that person are pretty damn powerful." 

Yeah, that's why I feel so fucking shitty right now, I think to myself. If it were anyone but Ethan I wouldn't feel like the world had dropped from the bottom of my feet. But it's him, it's my own perfect Ethan and I can't help but be all dramatically sad about losing him. 

My mom continues, "So when you walk in and see the person you love kissing someone else, you immediately feel betrayed and heartbroken and you just can't think clearly. Rationally." 

"How do you know this?" I ask her, trying my hardest not to think about what Ethan went through when he saw me and Fred. It'll only make me feel worse and guiltier. 

She smiles ruefully, "Your father, whether you've realized this or not, has a lot of crazy fans out there. I've seen it. I've seen them pounce. And first it really hurt and I had this awful fear that your dad was going to leave me for one of his fans. But after a little while, I learned how much he really loves me. He kind of had to prove it to me, but now I trust him with my whole life. That's what you have to do with Ethan."