In The Next Room

Chapter 5

"How?"

"Suicide." The word left my mouth, hollow and emotionless, though the tears continued to flood my senses. "I was the one to find him. Christmas break. I went to his house to give him his gift. We had the weekend to ourselves. And he knew. And I found him. He was collapsed against the side of the tub, blood streaming from his wrists and the melody of one of the songs I played for him floating in the background."

"Piano?"

"Yeah," my voice shook and cracked and I could hardly hear myself talk. The blood was rushing to my head, and I wanted to hit something. I wanted to break and inflict as much damage on someone as Cole had done to me. 

"Fuck."

"Yeah. Fuck." 

I couldn't form any more words, by now I was fighting to breathe, and I was drowning. "I'm sorry," he whispered, pulling me into his arms and cradling me against his chest as I cried and sobbed. "I'm so sorry."

I didn't want his pity. I wanted answers. I wanted revenge. Soon I was slapping him away from me, punching him in the chest, pushing him away even as he held me close. "Let me go!" I cried, hitting him and kicking at his legs. 

"Let it out, Rowan!" He yelled right back. "You can't keep doing this! He's gone!"

This made me pause, even though the rage and adrenaline that was pulsing through my veins. 

"He's gone, Rowan. It's over."

I snapped. I lost it. I tackled him to the bed, needing to get him away from me and hurt him long enough to run. "It's not over," I whispered, my hands resting against his chest, pushing him down into the mattress. "I'm not done with it yet. He was everything to me!"

It was that moment that I realized my legs were straddling his waist, and I was on top of him, and he wasn't fighting me anymore. I could run away, but as I looked down at him, my eyes widened, realizing that he wasn't protesting. 

We both broke at the same time. 

It wasn't filled with sweet nothings and rose petals. In fact, we hardly even talked as we tugged at each other's clothes and stripped, our lips never breaking apart. The bedroom was filled with our heavy breathing and wanton cries as we started off in a sprint, rushing to get to the end. It wasn't Leo's fault, in fact, we would've lasted longer if I hadn't spurred him on by digging my heels into his back and forcing him inside me deeper and faster. 

I wasn't thinking about anything other than Cole. His scent, his touch, everything I had wanted for so long in my life. But surprisingly, his face morphed into Locke's, and I couldn't stop myself. Desire pulsed through my veins, and for one moment, I was blissfully at peace. Locke became even harder and hotter inside me, making me arch my back in pleasure with the image I had created in my mind. 

"Harder, baby, please!" I moaned, writhing my hips to meet Locke's as he thrust into me. I could faintly hear that he was saying something, trying to talk to me, but I was so absorbed in my fantasy that I couldn't bear to hear what he was saying. 

His voice, his words, would crack this beautiful façade of Locke that I had created. 

"LOCKE!" I screamed, finally coming apart with his names falling helplessly on my lips. The pleasure drifted through my body but soon left as the shame set in. My face heated from guilt as I cracked my eyes open afterward, daring myself to look Leo in the eye. 

He paused, still inside me, his eyes all shock and horror as he registered whose name I had just shouted out in the throes of passion. "What?" he asked, gritting his teeth and forcing his now tensed body out of me so he could put distance between us.