The Halls of Westwood [BxB]

Chapter 19

"Why?" Lukas asked as he sat up and moved closer toward Beau. "The sooner Summers over the sooner we can finish school and the sooner it's just me and you" Lukas chuckled. He wrapped his arms around Beau's waist and placed a slow kiss on his jawline.

Beau's heart danced not only at Lukas's words but at the feeling of Lukas's shirtless body pressed against his. A bright smile reached his lips as he laid his head back, hoping Lukas would continue to kiss him. Sadly, he was left disappointed. Instead, Lukas was staring at him and waiting for an answer.

"I don't know... It's just school will take so long and college is forever away... A lot can happen in a few months" Beau sighed. He lazily brought his arms around Lukas's neck and met his pale gaze. "I just want it to be me and you already"

"I forgot how impatient you are" Lukas teased. Finally, he began to kiss down Beau's neck giving him exactly what he wanted two minutes ago. Now, Beau would much rather protest.

"I'm not impatient. I've just been waiting for years" Beau reminded him with a pout. Lukas rolled his eyes and pulled away from Beau's neck.

"Should have said something sooner, Sunshine" Lukas chuckled. "And it's only a few months surrounded by all of our friends before we almost never see them again. Is that so terrible?"

"Yes," Beau scoffed. "All I've wanted to do since middle school is to move away. And now I figured out I can take you with me which only makes me want it more"

"I still can't believe you waited so long to tell me" Lukas laughed as he pushed some of Beau's hair out of his eyes.

"What did you want me to do? Just say, hey Lukas I know your dad is like insanely homophobic or whatever but just wanted to say, I've been in love with you or something since I was eleven and liked you for even longer. Just thought you should know now even though there's a possibility that I get outed and live my next few years in hell" Beau rambled.

Lukas stared at him in shock for a few moments leaving Beau puzzled. He mentally went over what he had just said before realization hit him like a bus. Beau felt himself tense up as he quickly scrambled for an excuse.

"You've been in love with me since we were eleven?" Lukas asked carefully.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to say that. I mean, yeah... It's true. I do love you but you don't have to say anything. I really won't mind" Beau blurted out before groaning and leaning his head back against the rock and closing his eyes tightly. A bullet to the head didn't sound half bad at the moment.

"I love you too, Beau" Beau's eyes shot open and he quickly met Lukas's eyes. He knew Lukas loved him as a friend. The two had casually said it to each other since they were kids. But hearing it now was completely different because this time, it meant something more.

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"Fucking hell" Beau whispered as he buried his hands into his hair and stared down at his blanket in pure distress. He felt like he did in the first few days after Lukas died... Lost in a field of memories as he tried desperately to forget his reality. Screaming when it'd all hit him... Dragging a blade across his skin to feel something else. Anything that wasn't heartbreak and grief. Even if it was his fear of what he was doing to himself.

His family had left him alone on those days. They knew he wasn't in the right mind to be around other people... They also knew he wasn't in the right mind to be on his own. That much was clear when his mother had walked in to find her son's blood-soaked wrists. But eventually, they understood that everyone was much better off when he was alone. He wasn't screaming as often there. He wasn't panicking at the slightest hint of affection...