The Songbird

Chapter 16: Say It Like You Mean It

But the other side of that rift was an even scarier prospect.

Because the other side regretted nothing.

Nobody had been hurt or aware of it, and that had allowed her to live. And as she lived, she vowed that Lorenzo would pay dearly for what he'd done. And the darkest part of all wondered, If I could do that to all those people without trying, what could I do to him if I meant it? How much could I make Lorenzo hurt?

Talmage must've seen her eyes coming back into focus as well as the hard set of her jaw, for he regarded her with gentle apprehension.

"Don't worry, I'm not mad," he said, placating her. "But Elizabeth told me what happened before we brought you back in here. Believe me when I tell you, you don't want to go after that guy."

"Believe me when I assure you I do," she bit back, her hold on clarity strengthening by the second.

"Not if you want to escape Abbott's notice."

That pulled her up short, and she regarded him incredulously.

"Lorenzo may not have an official record of debt with you, but people in the Blue Alley will have noticed you bringing him supplies all these years. If you do something to him, his neighbors will find out. Maybe not right away, but eventually. And they'll know you're associated with him. They'll send those knights after you, and you'll be jailed for whatever ill intent you have planned. That is if you don't accidentally give yourself away first in the process."

She backed out of his arms, despising the way she was being admonished as the hatred in her chest only continued to grow.

"I met you scarcely more than a day ago, and here you are trying to tell me what I can and cannot do. Now, I will say this only once: I want to be taken home. You can follow through on your own, or I can make you, as we're both aware of now."

"Now who's trying to tell someone what they can and cannot do?" He threw back at her. "You claim to fear the King, but you're asking to be found if you seek vengeance. The last thing he needs is to corrupt another Favor Born for his cause."

"Weren't you asking me to join your own cause last night? What makes you different?"

"Everything makes me different, Mina."

"Abbott lets us starve while you blow up public places. You can hardly blame me for wanting nothing to do with either of you."

Talmage's eyes narrowed, frame growing stiff with an anger that increased in every breath. She vaguely wondered if he'd follow through with his earlier threat of keeping her here forever, but she refused to show cowardice now, trying to level him with her dark eyes.

And he leveled her right back.

"I don't expect you to understand," he said, deathly soft. "How could you? You've never belonged to anything bigger than yourself."

Mina opened her mouth to curse at him, but Talmage cut her off.

"Yes, we blew up The Square. We did it on collection day to send a message: that a King who sits in splendor while his people suffer in squalor is no King at all. A King who hunts down people touched by magic and commands them for dark deeds is no King at all. Nobody was killed, and nobody was supposed to be. But he had to know that the end of his reign is coming, and I wanted to give him a glimpse of how exactly I plan to end it."

"You cost me and everyone else almost a week's wages with that."

"You're missing the point."

"That is exactly the point! You can't claim to give people like me a better life by taking away the only thing that gives me that life!" Mina yelled.

"People caught in the cross-hairs are inevitable, and for that, I apologize. But once more, I beg you: if you hate him so much, join us and help bring him down. You'd save so much time."

"And do what, exactly? Tell him to go walk off a cliff? Sing him to death?"

"Let yourself be caught," Talmage said. "You could help us take him down from the inside and be our spy. All the while, you could learn. He'd teach you how to hone your gift, and the knights would develop it into something staggering."

Mina felt sick at his request, unable to listen any longer or tolerate this miserable existence underground. There were tendrils of rage swirling like smoke in her chest, but she willed them to become solid before latching on with all the strength she could muster, strength that would not send her back into darkness.

"Take me home," she ordered him. "Now."

Talmage looked at her with betrayal, conscious now of what she was doing to him as he pulled a blindfold out of his pocket. She didn't fight as he tied it around her eyes, anticipating the rough way he grabbed her hand to lead her out of the tent, out of the cave.

"Maybe you're not so different from them," he seethed, feet forced to walk forward against his wishes. "You only use your gifts to get what you want. Not a care in the world on how you could help others with it."

"I don't owe you anything, Talmage."

* * * * * * *

They walked for a long while, away from the underground fortress, out the entrance, winding through tunnels and around dark corners, so long and so far that she would never find that place again, even if she wanted to.

It was only when Mina felt the rocks underfoot give way to grass did she take the blindfold off, morning sunlight filling her eyes at the expense of fading darkness.

They were in the forest that surrounded the caves, the sight of trees and blinding life such a welcome sign, causing her to sigh in relief.

"You can go back now," Mina told Talmage as he continued to walk with her back to town. "I know the rest of the way."

"You'll have to order me to do that," he said, an undercurrent of loathing in his tone. "I can't stop walking, since you specifically said, 'Take me home.'"

"Oh," she fumbled. "Um, stop. You can leave me."

"Say it like you mean it," he sighed, still walking.

"Stop," she said, more forcefully this time. "Stop walking, and leave me."

And so he did.

They regarded each other, Mina warily and Talmage angrily. He mourned her refusal to join them, hating and knowing in equal measure that she'd be caught one day and corrupted into hunting him down. Him and everyone else he was trying to protect. Mina tried to feel apologetic at what she'd made him do, but she couldn't find it within herself to regret it.

"I have something of yours," she suddenly remembered. "After you blew up The Square, you left a woven band in the rubble. I saw it all. Why?"

"You're in no position to ask me anything again," he said. "But if you value your safety, I'd burn it if I were you."

Mina stepped away, unnerved by him now more than ever. His face was still bloody and bruised, hunkered down with tiredness and defeat. She had no way to gage how old he was or what he might actually look like when healthy. She told herself this was a good thing, having no desire to cross paths with him a second time.

"Goodbye Talmage," she said. "I doubt we'll be seeing each other again."

Mina turned her back on him and walked freely to the Red Alley, to her shack, filling her lungs with clean air and already planning to pretend that the previous day hadn't happened at all. The only memory she would keep was the revelation about Lorenzo, the poison of it unforgotten and lying in wait.

As she distanced herself, Talmage could only watch as she went, the sting of irritation still scratching at him even as it was blanketed with a blow of defeat.

"You'll come around," he whispered when she was out of earshot, more to himself than anything. "You'll see."