Balance

Chapter 26 ~ Justin

"Oh shit, I'm sorry J, that's harsh." I don't really know what else to say feeling this wave of awkwardness, it's been years since I last saw him and with so much history on my part it's like we're two completely different people... and I suppose we evidently are... Justin looks different to start, he's defiantly matured and playing football's really changed his body from scrawny to athletic. Puberty has been kind to him, gracing him with sculpted cheekbones and passionate green eyes. That's probably why I didn't recognise him to begin with, he looks more manly and less like the boy I used to chase down the halls at the dance academy whilst he taunted me by stealing my pointe shoes. "You played great out their though."

"Hey, Atty! Stop fraternising with the enemy." Rutherford shouts making us all laugh.

The sound of a horn being pressed repetitively from the entrance of the parking lot startles us, forcing our vision to his team's bus, the players still glaring at us from the windows.

"Anyway I better go, here..." he pats his jacket pockets before he pulls out a scrunched piece of paper and clicky pen writing down something then thrusting it into my hand, "My number, text me sometime? Maybe we could dance together again?" He says running backwards towards the bus, he looks over his shoulder one last time and throws me a boyish wink. Something I find oddly foreign and disconcerting. I nod back but scrunch up the paper in my hand with no intent on following through. My past needs to stay my past.

After the girls gushed to me about how hot he was we all went separate ways and I got into Blazes car.

We drive in silence to meet his mom and sister in the town centre. He looks on edge, angry even. His knuckles turn white on the steering wheel and he growls at the stoplights when they turn red.

"Are you okay?" I ask timidly not sure what's changed in the past half hour... we were joking about and-

"Peachy." He says through gritted teeth. He was fine after the game until... Justin.

"Was it Justin?" I sit up accusingly... why's he acting like this about frigging Justin? He says nothing, just chews on his gum, "Have I done something wrong?" He looks up at the ceiling and groans quietly, closing his eyes to breath in then opening them again with a softer quality.

"No Blondie you haven't. Sorry, I'm just being an ass again." His eyes look conflicted, "It was just the way he looked at you... and... I don't know." His jaw tenses again and his hands turn a ghostly white in the wheel. He goes back to sulking... is he jealous. No, he couldn't be jealous, why would he be jealous? "Were you guys ever...You know... did you ever..." holy crap he's jealous?!

"We were just friends... past friends. Why?" I smirk feeling a rush of bubbles enter my stomach... Justin made him jealous... around me?

"He just looked at you... and you looked... it was..." He groans clenching his fists, "I was just worried you were uncomfortable... you looked uncomfortable." He glances out of the window as we stop at another light. I almost giggle at this change of attitude, I didn't look uncomfortable, he was the one who looked like he'd rather be on frigging mars than shake his hand! Blaze can have any girl he wants why would he be so funny about me?

"Look." I place my hand on top of one of his on the wheel and pull the ball of scrunched up paper from my pocket. "Justin is my past and my past for a reason. You guys are my future... I guess." I blush, it's been a long time since I'd felt this happy with people. Blaze gives me a lopsided smile which makes my insides melt. We sit in a comfortable silence for a few moments, Blazes body relaxing back into his seat.

"What happened in Illinois Butterfly?" His gaze intensifies with concern and interest, I quickly remove my hand from his and look down at my lap taken by surprise. My head battles with itself, those very simple words ricocheting off my muscle memory. I want to tell him but I just can't. "It's okay... you don't have to." He looks disappointed but understanding, taking my hand and giving it a small squeeze. I want to tell him everything to show him he's my friend and that I trust him but the words make me want to throw up so I say instead-