Hurts doesn't it?

Chapter 11 - opening up

After the very amusing Snapchat photos, Thor announced that it was time to go as he had an avengers meeting that he couldn't be late for and if he was late, he would have to make up an excuse because the avengers don't like Loki that much after New York.

When seeing the bifrost as Thor left, I still felt like I was living in make believe land , which for a average 'midguardian' like me, it technically was.

Time got on, and we were both doing our own things , but before we knew it, it was dark and we still hadn't had dinner.

"Loki what do you want for food?"

"One of your human dishes please, they are exquisite and most of them are better than what we have on Asgard"

"I couldn't disagree more. How about I teach you how to make pasta?"

"Yes that sounds good"

So we got started, after trying to get one another to just choose what type of pasta , I finally gave up and chose myself - cheesey pasta in tomato sauce.

I showed him all the steps and how to make it which is pretty easy as pasta isn't a hard dish to make but for Loki it was like learning to walk again. He asked so many questions.

"Why are you doing that?"

"Don't you think that's too much?"

"That doesn't look right, are you sure about that?"

Most of my replies were just me humming or reassuring him that it's what you're supposed to do. I came to the conclusion that Loki doesn't like it when things aren't planned or aren't measured properly. Although he was very good with his hands: chopping, grating ect.

I didn't know why but I ended up showing him how to make home made pizza aswell which he liked a lot more since the measurements had to be exact and he got to choose what toppings he had on his. We were making it very sensibly until I got carried away and threw flour on his head.

"Oops" I laughed. But I stopped when he poured the whole rest of the flour out of the bag onto my head. "Loki did you actually just-"

"I think I did" he winked. I grabbed whatever I could off my head and threw it at him. We ended up having a fight with whatever lumps of flour we could find which lead to my whole kitchen looking like it had snowed, me and Loki included.

We were both tired out and sat on the floor waiting for the pizza to cook while out of breath. While waiting for them, I tried to clean up as much as I could but I knew I was going to find piles of flour around my house for weeks. It's things like this that start to send me back into being cold, because my mood changed instantly, and we sat in silence for a while.

Around 10 minutes later we heard the ding of the oven and before I could grab the tray of pizza with my oven mitt on, Loki got it with his bare hands.

"LOKI WHAT HELL?!" I was scared that his hands would be burnt but when I grabbed them they were fine, in fact they were cool. "Uh W-why , how?"

"There's one power I forgot to mention, I am a frost giant. So my natural form isn't like this" he said pointing at his body and face.

"So what do you look like?"

"Not this"

"Show me"

"No"

"Why?"

"Because I'm ugly, a monster"

I put my hand on his cheek which was freezing. "You may be a twat but you're not a monster. I won't force you, but if you did show me what you really look like I will try not to react, I promise" He slowly turned blue, being even colder than before.

"Y-your.." I was trying to find the right word.

"Hideous? Horrifying? Scary?"

"No, you look fine... not just fine... you look, um, you look beautiful?" I couldn't find the right works but I did know that he looked good this way. He had red eyes, skin blue and like ice, but still soft, and his cheeks started to go pink as he blushed. I didn't think he would have affected me, but while looking at him I felt my checks go warm aswell.

"Thank you love"

"You're very welcome" for a moment I thought I started to really like him, maybe not in that sort of way but I knew that my heart had this weird icky feeling. That was until I realised he's just my friend, and he will be leaving once he has a job. Although I didn't understand why he wanted to get a job when he had amazing abilities, and a home waiting for him.

Stopping the intimacy, I turned around, took my hand off his cheek, and shared out the pizza onto two plates and then dishes up the pasta. I took it to the table and we both sat. We were eating in silence until Loki placed his fork down and looked up at me, waiting for me to give him eye contact.

"I like the way you've been acting today and yesterday" he commented while still staring at me.

"I don't understand, I've acted the same" maybe I was indenial.

"No you're different, a good different, I like getting to know you, but I don't know enough yet"

"How is it not enough?"

"Because y/n, I know nothing about you except from random things like what type of house you would want or what food you like to eat or what Netflix show you would prefer to watch. I want to know more"

"Why? No one has ever questioned my behaviour before, they just guess that the way I act is just the way I am"

"And they guessed wrong" he was being so sweet, and although I was fine before - not feelings many emotional and all - I felt that maybe I should just try to open up.

"I lost all my memories" he was shocked at how blunt I said the truth.

"How?"

"I don't know, I never asked"

"Do you want to talk about it? Like the whole situation?"

"There's not that much to tell, but sure"

"I'm listening"

"Well all I remember is waking up in a hospital bed, the only thing I knew was my name. A nurse came up to me to talk but then walked off to have a chat with the doctor, I followed them to hear what they would say about me and I heard that all my family had died in the past 10 years which I was supposed to be sad about, but I wasn't" while telling my story, we washed up and sat on the sofa to talk without distractions. "I grabbed what it looked like to be my stuff and left the hospital. In that stuff was an address and a key so I found the apartment and I've been living here since"

"I'm sorry to hear that, I really am. Did the nurses come to visit you or anything?" He knew the answer to that question but he tried to reply like how any person would.

"They sent a therapist which didn't do anything to help at all. I started fresh and learnt about myself for apparently the second time. From them days forward I decided I wasn't going to let anyone else in. I felt nothing , and I preferred it that way"

He nodded while listening, indicating for me to continue. He moved closer to me on the sofa.

"I don't know who my parents are, I don't know anything at all really. For all I know my dad could be an ass and my mum could be like the evil step mother out of Cinderella, if they were alive still, but from what the doctors said I'm assuming not"

"I can bring your memories back" my head whipped to look at him, what was he talking about.

"No.. I don't want that... and you never know, me and my dad could have a rocky relationship and I do not wanna deal with that"

"Hey look, everybody has daddy issues"

"Do you?"

"That's a story for another time love". He put the TV on and we watched some new show until I fell asleep.

All I could remember was someone lifting me up and taking me to my bed.