ive dug myself a hole so deep i cant even find a way out. my own deep abyss.
you and i are a carcass laying at the bottom.
i dug and dug and dug thinking the solitude was the best way to protect us. i did it right from the start. no one sees in. neither of us sees out.
now we are a carcass.
dead. rotting. rotting. rotten.
blood. sinew. tendons. bone chips.
i am a racoon. or a vulture.
drawn to the smell; to the taste. feasting on our sanguinary remains. why do i tell myself it tastes so sweet? why do i keep going back for seconds?
its easier than hunting on my own i guess. no matter how many times i get sick.
i need some catharsis in my life.
a swim in the lake when its raining.
a late night jam sesh with old friends.
a drive on the highway at 3am screaming out lyrics.
a loving friendship that feels momentous.
i need to learn to let go. i need to learn to communicate my boundaries. i need to learn to finally grow up and make the change.
you and i are a carcass. im sick of filling my life up with death.
