What We Could Never Be (gxg)

Part 12- Present Day

It had been a month since Brianna kissed me in the gym, it was now August. I couldn't stop thinking about it, all the time. And I was feeling very down about the whole situation- all I could wonder about was Brianna, how she was engaged, and if she possibly wanted to me with me instead. I mean, she kissed me. She fucking kissed me. And I just kept wanting to kiss her again.
One Friday I was eating lunch with Casey outside and she said to me, "We are going out tonight. To whatever gay bar you want."
I turned to look at her, "What?"
"I am tired of you moping around. We are going out tonight. Bring you roommate too. I want to lift your spirits."
"Is that that obvious that I'm upset? I hope it's not showing to the patients." I worried.
"It's not, I promise. They love you. But I can just tell how down you seem. I'm assuming it's Brianna?"
I nodded.
"So we are going out tonight. You'll look hot, you'll feel hot, maybe you'll meet someone."
"I want to say no, but you're not going to let me, correct?"
"Yep. You're correct." Casey smiled.
"Okay. Come over to my place at 8 tonight. Savannah doesn't have work and I'm sure she is tired of me moping around too."
"Yay!" Casey cheered.
I smiled, and then it faded quickly when I saw Brianna, going out to her car. She looked at me for a split second, and then looked away.
Savannah thought going out was a great idea. She knew about the kiss- and freaked out when I told her. I had also told Casey, and sworn her to secrecy. And I trusted she wouldn't tell anyone. She didn't quite understand how much it affected me as much as Savannah did, but that was to be expected.
"Is Casey going to be here soon? I'm excited to meet her." Savannah said, putting on some Fenty Beauty lipgloss. I was so used to seeing her in scrubs, with her long, chocolate brown hair tied up. Tonight she was in a tight, little black dress and nude sandals. Her hair was down, parted in the middle, and curled at the ends. She looked tan and gorgeous, and had put false lashes around her hazel eyes.
"She should be here in a few minutes." I said, straightening the last piece of my hair, that was a little past my shoulders. I had on a pair of frayed jean shorts, a black tank top, and a flannel around my waist. I felt comfortable, but cute. And when Casey showed up, she looked really pretty in a floral romper. She had straightened her curls too, and put her hair up in a ponytail. Her and Savannah hit it off right away. Casey drove down to Philly, where we would be going out. She agreed to be DD for the night.
We got to a club called The Toasted Walnut, which was dimly lit and had a long bar on the downstairs, and then a dance floor on the second level. Loud pop music was playing.
"Let's dance!" Savannah said, pulling Casey and I upstairs. We danced for a while to the loud music together. It was nice to just let go and feel free in the moment, swaying to the music. To not have to worry about Brianna- or at least try to not.
"I'm going to grab a drink!" I said after about 25 minutes of dancing. I was alright slightly sweaty.
"Grab me a vodka cranberry!" Savannah said, dancing with Casey.
I went down the steps to the bar. There were two bartenders, both very tatted up. I walked up to the bar, which was somewhat crowded and stood, my hands on top of the dark stone that made up the bar.
"Be with you in a second, hon." One of the bartenders said to me. She had a platinum white mohawk and was wearing a black tank top.
"Take your time." I said back. I knew how busy bartenders could get.
"Blake?" I heard a voice next to me say. I didn't recognize it. I turned to my left.
No way.
In front of me was Ellen Howell, my old soccer teammate in high school. We had a bit of a rocky relationship senior year, and I was surprised she even acknowledged me.
She looked completely different than she did in high school. Back when we were younger, she had long, dirty blonde hair and was always a bit on the stockier side. She was a little taller than me, and was a definite tomboy. She never wore makeup and dressed very casual.
I was taken aback and how she looked. I could tell it was her- but damn. What a transformation. She wearing a gray tank top and black frayed jean shorts. I could see that her arms were toned, but very thin, and her left arm was completely covered in tattoos- and she had a half sleeve on her other. Her hair was no longer blonde- it was very dark brown, almost black, and was short and shaved on one side. She had on thick, round glasses and I could see a sharp wing of her eyeliner.
"Ellen?" I couldn't think of what else to say back to her.
"I know, I look a little different." She chuckled, and then stood up. To my surprise, she gave me a hug. I hugged her back.
"You look great." I said back to her, scaling her body with my eyes.
"So do you. Pretty as ever. Even blonder too, didn't know what was possible." She smiled at me.
Pretty as ever. I didn't even know she thought I was pretty in the first place.
We spent a bit talking at the bar. She told me that she was about to go to graduate school for her MBA.
"Business? Not what I expected." I laughed.
"As you probably guessed, I didn't make it to the professionals for soccer." She laughed too. But I could see slight resentment in her light blue eyes.
I was getting flirty vibes from her. She kept shooting me looks that almost felt like she was undressing me with her eyes.
"Blake! Where's my drink?" Savannah came running up to the bar, Casey after her.
Fuck.
"Sorry!" I said, looking at the vodka cranberry on the counter in front of me.
Savannah then looked over at Ellen, who was turned toward me, and shot me a knowing smile. "It's okay. Who is this?"
"My name is Ellen." Ellen grinned at Savannah and gave a slight wave.
"Ellen and I played soccer together in high school." I said.
"Ellen, come dance with us!" Savannah said, reaching out her arm. That was Savannah for you- friendly as ever.
Ellen looked at me and raised her eyebrows. I nodded, "Come on. Dance with us."
Ellen and I got pretty hot and heavy on the dance floor. Her hands were all over me and I was grinding into her. And I was okay with it. My mind kept wandering back to Brianna, but I tried to stop it every time it did. I never thought in a million years I would be doing this with Ellen. I had my suspicions back in the day, but I didn't even know she was into girls. This confirmed it.
"Want to come back to my place? I live right down the street." She said into my ear as we danced, and I could feel myself get goosebumps.
"Yes." I said, on impulse. Fuck it. Why not?
I told Savannah and Casey that I was going to Ellen's. They looked pleased. "You go girl." Casey said to me, "Let us know if you need a ride home in the morning."
Ellen and I walked back to her place, which she told me she shared with two roommates. She had her arm around my waist as we walked back to her apartment in the summer night heat.
We got to her house, which was a small brownstone townhouse.
"My roommates aren't home." She said, leading me up the steps and into her room, which was dark. She closed the door behind us, and I leaned against it, and she kissed me. It was a hot passionate kiss- but soft at the same time. I could tell she wanted me. And I wanted to fuck her. It had been a while.
The alcohol was getting to me though. I had to pee. "Where is your bathroom?" I asked.
"Right next door. You're not about to run out, are you?" She chuckled.
"Never." I said, and gave her a kiss.
I peed, and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was already slightly disheveled. I took a deep breath. If I slept with Ellen, this was only the second person I was going to be with since Brianna. You can do this.
And we definitely...did it. She made me cum, with her mouth. And I did the same to her. And she did to me, again.
We laid next to each other after. I couldn't help but compare to Brianna. Ellen was less aggressive, a bit slower and seemed like she really wanted to take her time with making a girl finish. I was more used to Brianna, who seemed hungry to fuck. She was aggressive, and made you fully know she wanted you. Was that how she was with Sydney? I didn't even want to think about it.
"Are you okay?" I heard Ellen say next to me. We were laying down on her bed in the dark.
I plastered on a smile and turned to her. "Of course."
She smiled back. "Good."
I didn't even believe my own words, that I was okay.