Hodge Podge's "Diary" for the broken and lonely

R.I.P. love

Hallo~

Ok, so this one is darker... I'm going into death stuff again.

As I've mentioned a few times, people around here are kinda... dropping... A couple of people who held some level of importance to me for reasons individual to the person, have died, and some others have been attempting, or in the case of now one, old age is no doubt catching up with bad health.

R.I.P. to all we've lost, and will lose.

Most recently, just a few days ago, actually, my old dog died. He didn't live with me anymore, he lived with my grandparents because he really can't handle city life in a busy house.

Originally, I picked him out at a shelter in Mississippi. It was him or the overly content black lab lying in the middle of the cage. Naturally, the German Shepherd Chow mix trying to lick my face thru the bars stole my heart instantly. I would have been about 8 years old when we got him. Living in the middle of a bunch of tree farm, I didn't socialize with human beings often outside of family. This dog, his name was Natchee, became my only friend. And remained on of my closest for about 9 years.

He was the first dog to move across the country with my family. That alone was a huge change.

He was the first leaving creature to hear my sexual orientation. Now, Natchee was never big on face licking, he'd been taught better, but when I told him, sitting at the park, he licked my face. Call it coincidence, silly, or stupid. For me, that dog knew what I was saying, and was telling me it was ok.

"Why we're you telling your dog anyways?" Well, like I said, he was my only friend for awhile, so naturally, I'd taken to talking to him. That habit never stopped.

He went thru a lot with me, and I wouldn't be who I am without him. So when he died a few days ago, a part of me died with him.

But in a way, it didn't. He never leaves me, not even now. When someone dies, we remember them more than we did when they were alive. In that way, they become immortal. They never leave us, not really.

To anyone who has ever lost a pet, be it natural causes, like old age, or natural but not at all ok causes, like cancer (which is what I lost my Natchee to), or to a sickass bastard who thinks killing animals is cool... Everything dies, but nothing leaves. The love you had and have for your pet will carry over wherever they go, and part of them will live inside you forever.

Personally, I have a large amount of anger towards cancer, simply described by the statement "Fuck it hard in the ads sideways with a double sided spoon". That also goes for my anger towards any sicko who is cruel to animals. Koda, a good friend of mine I've written about here before, has lost 2 (I think that's the number?) pets to said sickos, and a few others to cancer. So I know he would be on my side in that. Seriously, snapping necks and poisoning puppies? How can anyone do that???

And then there was the jackass who got pissed at his girlfriend for breaking up with him, and so he forced her to watch him torture and kill 29 puppies, and then made her clean up the mess afterwards. Sickos man...

Basically.. Don't be a sicko, get rid of sickos, R.I.P. all of our loved ones, gone or going, we love you all. You're all immortal in our hearts and tears. We all join the earth one day, and our love for each other will grow for us the most beautiful world.

So, uhm... Yea... describing my dog to you guys, I won't lie, I started crying again. It's ok to cry tho, if you don't cry over your lost loved ones, there's a problem.

Until the next one~

-Liz