paper hearts - owen joyner

twelve

"Good morning, Hazel," I grumbled as I pushed open the doors to the library.

"Well, hello dear!" she exclaimed with a bright smile on her face when she saw me. "How was your day yesterday?"

"Absolutely horrible. You can't take anymore sick days. I forbid it," I said as I approached her desk.

"Oh, do you now?" She raised her eyebrows, and I nodded my head. "Well, before you tell me all about it, how's about we do our little trading tradition first?" she pointed towards the brown plastic bag in my hands.

Its contents were two of my dad's famous PB&J sandwiches. Our deal was that if I traded my sandwiches, she'd trade her latest book recommendation. As much as I loved those sandwiches, I wanted that book Hazel was holding behind her back way more.

"Gimmie, gimmie," I squealed, reaching for the book and handing her the brown bag.

"So, what's up?" she asked, shoving the sandwich into her mouth. I placed the book on the table so I could focus on telling her everything.

"Well, you see, Hazel... there's this boy-"

"Isn't there always," she rolled her eyes as she took a seat. I glared at her. "What did Hunter do this time?"

My train of thought was completely lost at the mention of Hunters name. I had forgotten how much Hunter had grown on Hazel. When I first told her that I liked him, she wasn't his biggest fan. But when she met him for the first time, and saw his smile, I knew she was a goner, just like me.

"No. Not Hunter, Hazel," I said.

"What? What happened?" she asked, sitting up on the edge of her seat, her eyebrows furrowed.

I took a deep breath, bracing myself for this long story. I knew it would hurt me even more to relive it again, but I needed to let it all out.

Just as I opened my mouth, there was a slight knock on the library doors, before someone opened it up and walked in.

"He happened," I whispered to Hazel as Owen started walking towards Hazel's desk. He was wearing a light pink hoodie with his hair pulled back into a hat. I hated how good he looked right now.

"Hey," Owen breathed out as he stopped in front of me, shoving his hands into the pocket of his jeans.

"What are you doing here, Owen?" I asked, keeping my face straight.

"Oh! I think I forgot some books in the back, I'll be right back, James," Hazel said, walking away quickly, leaving us alone. Traitor. 

I turned back to face Owen. He was rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, like he was thinking hard about what to say.

"Um..." he hesitated for a couple of seconds. "I wanted to talk to you about that paper you were supposed to help me with..."

"Oh shit. I completely forgot about that," I thought out loud.

"Yeah, I figured you had," he nodded his head, looking down at the ground. "Honestly I've been going back and forth about bringing it up to you. Ever since yesterday it just doesn't feel right-"

"No. I told you I'd help you," I mumbled.

I knew deep down I was excited, but I shouldn't be. This meant I'd have to spend more time alone with him. And even though it was the one thing I wanted the most, I knew it would only hurt me more.

"You really don't have to if you don't want to. I'd understand."

He looked up at me. I waited a few seconds before whispering, "I want to."