The Halls of Westwood [BxB]

Chapter 14

He hated that even when he was in danger and flames were tugging at his skin all he could think about was that perfect moment. It was only three days before Lukas was gone yet it had been the happiest moment of Beau's life.

Beau couldn't sleep without seeing Lukas. He always woke up in a cold sweat if he found himself in a field or in the barn... Or he woke up broken-hearted and unable to breathe if he found himself in Lukas's arms. It always hurt and he couldn't do anything...

A silent cry escaped his lips as he held his pillow closer to his chest. His body trembled as tears streamed down his cheeks. He wanted Lukas. He wanted his best friend. He wanted his love. He didn't want to be alone. He wanted to go back to a few months ago when Lukas was still his... He didn't want to be at Westwood or Tennessee... He didn't want to be alive.

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Markos sat cross-legged in the back of the old library. Dust clouded his nose as he pulled out an old Shakespeare play; Timon of Athens. The back of the library was all untouched. It was older literature that most people only inspected if they had a report, but even then it was uncommon. Markos had seen the play in London when he was a kid and had fallen in love with Shakespeare's writing style.

Markos blew off another layer of dust from the cover and carefully flipped through each page, admiring the beautiful words. He didn't remember much about it... He knew it was about a man who ran away from society. From a life of fake friends that weren't there for him when he fell out of wealth. But that wasn't why Markos loved it. He loved it because he remembered being obsessed with the actor who played the lead role. At first, he had thought he liked him, he might have but after close inspection, he realized he was only jealous of him.

"Their blood is caked, 'tis cold, it selfdom flows:
'Tis lack of kindly warmth they are not kind."

Markos quietly mumbled the line to himself before leaning his head back against the bookcase. He silently relished the memory of sitting at the very front of broadway shows with his family or people from school. He would silently observe the actors and admire them. Sometimes he'd even take notes on his favorite scenes or actors he wanted to see again.

Those were some of his best memories... Plays were written by people like him. People who were a little off, different... People who struggled to come off as socially acceptable but were praised for their art. Trans and gay people like him... He didn't feel like such a freak or as insecure when he was in art museums or in the theater.

"You read Shakespeare?" A deep voice cut him off making him jump. His eyes shot in the direction of a handsome boy wearing the cheap school uniform and a black diamond ring. Markos's lips pressed in a thin line, fully expecting to be judged.

"Sometimes" Markos forced the word out of his mouth and shut the play. "If you came here to mock me I'm really not in the mood today"

"No... It just kind of makes sense" Jayce shrugged. "I've tried reading some of his work but could never get into it... Do you have any suggestions?" Markos hesitated unsure if he should actually help him out or be offended. He wasn't sure how he felt about Jayce being nice to him. He didn't want his sympathy... He didn't want him to suddenly go easy on him just because he was trans.

"If you're just being nice to me because you feel bad for me you can just fuck off" Markos snapped. He was surprised to see Jayce get flustered and scramble for words. He ran his fingers through his hair anxiously and awkwardly glanced at the ground.

"No" Jayce promised. "It isn't like that... I just... I don't know" he groaned. Markos bit back a laugh as he watched Jayce struggle to find something to say. It was like watching freshmen trying to talk to someone on their first date. "I don't feel bad for you... I just think that everyone deserves someone to talk to?" Markos let out a snort.