Something Different

13 Just the two of us

I was in the dined earlier when a horrifying news from the landlady came to me.

A drug raid happened at the building.

I must be lucky, all the drugs and evidence I have has all been thrown away days ago.

But I can't see myself lucky, my dog died.

The neighbours said that Pepsi was barking the police to go out of the apartment so they shot him twice.

"Who did this to you?" I said hugging his corpse.

I wiped my tears ot minding the blood on my hand.

My heart felt like it was being pierce with needles—millions of it.

The only thing who kept, saving and playing with me back then is now dead. He is one of my reason to keep on living.

No matter how much I am about to die, Pepsi is always there to bark at me.

"You broke our pact, I thought none of us would leave unless we are finally happy? Who's gonna bark at me now? Who's gonna keep on distracting me?" I asked Pepsi as if he can talk.

Deep within me, I am wishing for a miracle that he is still alive and that he would bark at me right now.

But he won't. I got jammed at traffic. It was two fucking hours! I am so late.

So, so, so fucking late like always.

Judah rubbed my back. I can't tell if he is sad too but I know inside me that I am.

And I can't do anything. I can't do anything to save the only thing who gave me life when I was just a body with no soul.

"I haven't even spoiled you that much yet." I sob. My heart feels like literally breaking from the pain.

I threw away all the illegal things that was connected to me, I am looking for a decent job and I promised Pepsi to buy him all the food he deserve. All the food we never tasted back then.

I promise to make him look pretty so that when we'll go to the mall people won't judge us.

He was half of my soul. Why'd it had to be him? Is this my retribution? For having such a soul that can burn in hell?

If it is, well then they did it, I am now in pain. My heart is welling in blood and despair.

"Let it all out," Judah said to me whils rubbing my back, back and forth comforting me.

"He'll be resting peacefully." He whispered in my ear as he hugs me.

"But he died unjust!" He whispered 'sorry's' and 'I know' to me.

I just want to shut down and break right now but I can't, Judah will worry about me.

He even took half a day of work and came home with me. Is this how cruel the world will always be? When you're bad, they'll take all that matters to you and make you resent of all the sin you have committed.

"Hey, eat a bit." Judah said as he sat next to me.

Pepsi was burried decently earlier, the police who shot him never took responsibility. All of them fucking denied shooting down a dog and even told me: "Maybe your dog was shot accidentally."

Accidentally? Twice a row both bullet holes in his body is an inch near and they say accidentally?

I hear Judah sigh and he smiled gently at me.

"I know, my presence will never be the same as Pepsi. He was a good dog and I kinda built a strong bond between us—."

"Then why are you not showing any signs of heart break?" I cut him off.

He reached for my hand and kissed the back of my palm.

"Pepsi left us, it's just the two of us now. I have to be strong if you arw not. I know, I'll never be as strong as you are. I hate violence remember? But remember: it's okay for you to be weak, I'll be the strong one temporarily." He said with sincerity and kissed my forehead.

My cheeks burned as I felt my tears fell from my eyes again.

"I guess it's just the two of us now, then." I said to him sobbing.

Dear Pepsi,

Even though you already left in an unjust death and it's painful to me.

Do know that I will be strong and I will fight like you always wanted me to. Don't worry anymore about me being lonely and loosing a companion, Judah is here—not to replace you but to make me feel better when I feel like breaking to pieces.

I am only human, I have two choices: 1. To break down and cry.  2. To be brave and fight.

Thank you for fighting with me during my days of hell, Pepsi.