It's a Spider Thing. {Peter Parker and Natasha Romanoff}

{13} can't you just say no to stark?

"Shit." Peter breathed out, running his free hand through his hair. "Shit."

He scrambled to set his mug down and grab his phone from his nightstand, thankfully not having to scroll through his limited contacts before sending Clint a frantic text of, 'I've done something dumb' with no explanation. It took an hour before the archer had arrived- he was suspiciously wearing black and had initially headed to Natasha's cupboard in search of a shovel. Peter didn't know whether to be offended at the fact that Clint thought he had killed somebody, or that he thought that Peter didn't know how to dispose of it himself before he had rushed out an explanation.

Then the older man had settled down on the couch, looking relieved. He watched Peter pace back and forth, mildly worried that the teen might make the carpet go bald.

"Kid, can't you just say no to Stark?"

Peter stopped mid step and turned to face the man with a look that screamed, are you freaking serious right now? Clint huffed at the familiar expression that was far too like the one Natasha would send him more often than not, and leaned back into the couch. He raised his hand in a placating manner as the teen proceeded to continue wearing out the carpet and stress eating a donut that Clint had brought over upon his arrival.

"You've met the guy! How well will that go down, huh?" Stressed Peter between bites, "He also knows I'm a fan of his work. Why on earth would I say no?" He asked incredulously.

"Because you're Spiderman."

Peter scowled and aggressively finished off the snack, making Clint feel slightly sorry for the donut when the teen turned his head to him, "I'll just tell him that, shall I?" he snarked.

Groaning, Clint ran a hand down his face in frustration while Peter eyed the phone on the coffee table. For a moment, he debated whether or not to phone Natasha- she may have been on a mission, but she'd made it explicitly clear to call her in case of a real emergency. Did Tony Stark threatening to meet you count as an emergency? He thought bleakly, chewing his lip in thought, pondering the idea.

"We are not ringing Nat." Clint said, snatching the phone away and stuffing it into his pocket.

Peter huffed dramatically in response. "Why not? She'll know what to do-"

"We can solve this, Pete."

"No, we can't. And I'm not afraid to admit that- let me call 'Tasha." Peter pleaded.

He dived towards the archer, ready to riffle through the obscene number of pockets before the man hauled himself over the back of the couch, less than graceful with the way he grunted as he landed on the floor in a mess of limbs. Peter peered over the back of the furniture, scowling as he controlled the urge to tackle the man once again.

"I have a plan." Clint declared, looking away defiantly as he clambered back to his feet.

Any kind of plan thought up by Clint Barton couldn't be good, right? Then again, he is an avenger, Peter reasoned, watching said avenger turn and sip from the coffee pot since he had dubbed a mug too much effort. I'm going to regret this, Peter grimaced internally.

"What's your plan?" He forced out.

"I got a house that's off the grid." He began, Peter didn't look impressed as he spared the man another glance before slumping into the couch again. "My brother can be your 'guardian'. It'll be perfect because no one will suspect a thing." Clint finished proudly.

"Your definition of perfect is alarming." Peter commented, arms crossed over his chest.

Clint huffed and plopped himself down into the armchair, "Sheesh." He muttered. Peter sighed.

"Is that the best we got?"

"Yep." Clint popped the 'p', quietly enjoying the look of misery clouding the teenager's face at the prospect of his idea- he was 89% sure it was going to work.

"Can't we call Nick?" Peter looked desperate while Clint cackled.

"And say what? We can figure this out." He assured, stretching before fishing out the phone.

"Can we though?" Peter echoed, dubious.

"Yeah, we can. Now pack a bag whilst I call Barney." 

A/N

And your first mention of Barney Barton- you're welcome :)

However, I only know of him through pinterest as I haven't read the comics so it's kind of what I've gathered from other people's headcannons and info, sue me :/

Tell me about any spelling mistakes! xoxo.