twelve

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after a month of detention it was finally their last night. no more sorting books or cleaning cauldrons after tonight

oddly enough james had found himself looking forward to these nights with remus. but as sad as he was to see them go he knew it wouldnt be long until they were back in detention; it never failed

it turned out to be an easy night, just cleaning more cauldrons. gross but simple, it really could never go wrong and didnt require your full attention. which meant james and remus could do all the talking they wanted

"you and reg huh?" remus stated

james smiled brightly, "yea. me and reg"

"enlighten me, potter." said remus

"moony you never let me live it down, so it stays between us," james began

"understood"

james took a breath, "its silly but i started writing my feelings out."

"like a journal?"

"no more like poetry or lyrics, its not as casual as a journal. i give it more meaning i guess. it just helps me get thoughts to leave my head," james explained

they both stood leaning against the tables scrubbing the inside of dirty cauldrons trying to avoid breathing through their nose

"where are you going with this.." remus pondered

"let me get there," james noted. "one day i was writing one in the library about regulus and just my luck who walks in?"

remus laughed, "regulus does"

"yes exactly-and he wants to read it, so of course i let him read it. we have this whole conversation about it blah blah, then he started going all philosophical on me," james rambled on

remus chuckled as james caught his breath, "saying all that we met for a reason and he doesnt care why because its nice that we have each other and how being mortal is beautiful because we never get the same moment twice."

"kid must do a lot of thinking," remus added

james nodded eyes wide, "i was told him he was brilliant and he didnt buy it saying hes just a boy. like common wheres some self confidence."

remus chuckled, "so whatd you say? to you know boost his confidence."

"that hes my boy, which is way more than being just a boy," james answered

"so you called him your boy and then what happened?" remus inquired

"the library closed so we had to leave," james replied with a shrug

"you didn't talk about it?" remus was baffled. "geez prongs you're really bad at this."

"okay and?" james trailed off

remus chuckled, "you don't just call someone your boy and then not explain that you wanna date them."

"i messed up didn't i?" james groaned setting down his cauldron

"big time," remus laughed again

over the last month james had grown to really like having detention alone with remus. although he was close with each marauder, remus had a calmer and more mature nature when it came to relationship advice

growing up remus had always been secretive and quick to anger but over the years he had mellowed out. it was strange because while his personality was becoming kinder he looked rougher and rougher at first glance

usually he hid the scars with sleeves and pants but tonight he was wearing one of sirius baggy band tees  and loose fitting trousers. the scars had an odd beauty to them in james's eyes. to him they werent painful reminders but art on a once blank canvas

they told remus's story but james understood that remus would never see it that way so he never told him how cool he thought the scars were. he knew remus would always be ashamed of them. so he left it alone

"oh god," james sighed. "how do i fix this? moony i mean i can fix this right?"

remus put down the cauldron he was cleaning and gave james his full attention for a moment

"look mate, i dont know reg so i really have no idea what he will or wont let you apologize for. but if you tell him the truth and he can tell its genuine, you from the bottom of your heart, i think you'll be able to fix any mistake you make," remus told him

"so i should tell him i like him? just state it flat out, plain and simple," james asked

"like a ripping off a band-aid," remus stated

"a what?"

remus sighed, "nn-never mind. just be straight up with him mate. i see the way you guys look at each other, okay? tell him and you'll be alright."

"you know moony, im gonna miss this," james confessed

"what detention? dont worry well be back soon enough," remus joked

"no," james corrected. "just you and me detention. its easier to talk to you about this over sirius or peter."

remus smiled gratefully, "yea well im always here you know that right?"

"course mate, course i know that," james beamed

they feel silent for awhile longer until all the cauldrons in slughorns classroom were cleaned. now they stood in the doorway admiring their work

it felt silly to james to be so attached to these nights but as he took a look around the room he couldn't help but think it was the end of an era

remus turned to face james giving him a nod and a look that read 'our work here is done' before moving to leave the classroom

"wait-" james blurted trying to extend the span of the moment

"yea?"

"moony can i tell you something?"

"anything," remus answered turning back around

"i know theyre not exactly your favorite thing in the world but uh, i think the scars look really cool on you mate," james admitted finally

"you should leave them uncovered more"

a soft smile grew on remus's face as he hung his head trying to hide his red cheeks from james

"you really think so?" remus mumbled looking back up

james nodded reassuringly, "yea. they make you look tough. bet it'll scare snivillus away faster than your right hook did."

remus chuckled shaking his head as they headed back to their dorm, "how in the hell did you find out about that."

"people talk moony, people talk"

james was relieved that he hadnt said too much but very glad he told remus how he saw the scars. maybe thats all remus needed to hear? that other didnt see them in such negative light but in a artistic one

it wasnt easy to read remus, it never had been. yet somehow it was as clear as ever to james that remus had never been so grateful for his brutal honesty

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