Losing Game/// James Potter

Chapter 74

Elsie,
I have not much time, but you of all people deserve to hear the truth from me. By the time you read this, I will have embarked on a mission to change my fate. A mission that will most likely strip away everything I know, my life included. I was a Death Eater by force Elsie, you need to understand this. But you told me I could be good, and good is the side I want to fight for. I choose to be good.

There was no name signed onto the bottom of the letter, but Elsie didn't realize that. Her mind was completely in shambles as her eyes wildly stared down at the paper being held in her shaking grip. No...no...no...

"Els?" James softly questioned in concern at the state Elsie entered into. It was as if she couldn't think, her brain only grasping onto a few key words. A mission...Death Eater...good...

She pushed herself back onto her feet and began anxiously pacing the kitchen room, "Fuck, James. He wouldn't risk his life, right? Tell me he wouldn't put his life in danger?!"

"Els, love," James gently grabbed her shoulders as if he were trying to pull her back together, "Tell me what's going on?"

"Regulus," the name slipped out of her lips, as her eyes gazed up at James' full of worry and pain, "He can't be dead. He's fucking 18, he's not dead. Right, James?"

She ripped herself out of James' grip and glared at him when no answer came out of his mouth, her frustration and anger boiling over, "He's 18 years old. He's fucking 18, James. He's not dead! He can't be!"

"Why don't we go talk to Padfoot to see if he knows-,"

"NO," Elsie roared, her heart physically breaking as she thought of an 18 year-old Regulus Black feeling as if his only way of escaping the life he was forced to live was death, "There's no time. I need to go. I have to go."

"Elsie, we don't know where he is or what happened. It's too dangerous, we need to tell someone else," James tried reasoning with the shaking girl in front of him.

"Who's going to fucking listen, James?! Nobody would believe him. They'd think it's a trap, but I know him. I know it's not and I know he's out there. He can't be dead...he can't be," she angrily snapped, not intending to be mean towards James, but getting frustrated that he was wasting more of her time that could be spent looking for Regulus, "I'm going. Now."

"Elsie, please," James begged, grabbing her hands and desperately trying to reason with her, "You can't just leave it's not safe out there."

"We're supposed to be fighting for what's right, James. I need to find him. He could be alone or hurt or...," she trailed off, her eyes getting wide as she refused to finish her last sentence.

"Elsie, he may already be dead," he spoke directly to her, his eyes pleading for her to listen to him, "But you're still here. If you go out searching for a Death Eater, you might end up exactly like him. It's not safe!"

"He's not dead, James," Elsie glared at him, her fists tightening by her side, "Maybe he hasn't gone on his mission yet. Maybe I could stop him or go with-,"

"Go with him, yeah? Is that what you want?!" The spectacled boy stormed up to her as his hands angrily ripped through his messy hair, "And leave me here? Leave me and Sirius and Remus and Peter all alone? Something could fucking happen to you, Elsie."

"Something could have happened to him," she gritted through her teeth, stubbornly not letting up on her position, "How don't you understand that?!"

"But what about you?! Fuck!" He screamed as he began pacing around in the kitchen to try and let some steam off, stopping after a moment and staring directly at her, "I lied, okay? Mum and dad called me from St. Mungos just when I woke up. They think they got infected with Dragon Pox on their last mission, so now they have to stay there. And I'm fucking scared, Elsie. I can't lose them, but I can't fucking even fathom losing you too."