Pretty. Odd. #A Ryden Fanfic# [DISCONTINUED]

OMFG, I am really on drugs

PLEASE READ THIS MOTHER FUCKING SHIT, YOU SEXY HOMOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🐋🐋🐋

Hello, you weird fucks. You may read, or we can have a session to dance to some shit that is the complete opposite of dancy. OMG, What A Catch, Donnie by Fall Out Boy👪. YES! We are gonna fucking lick lampposts, streak naked in Coles👰/ Walmart👯/ Whatever The Fuck You Foreign, Non Australian People Have💃 and eat DanIsNotOnFire butterflies stuck on marshmallows. January 32nd 2013. Be ready bitches. 🐢

And now, in serious news, a rhino🐥 has completely devoured a passing UFO.🐳

No, but I think I'm going to alternate between P.O.Motherfucking.Vs for this one. Maybe🐏🐌🐏

Oh, and whenever I have to do '...' It is now going to be '🐏🐌🐏'. OKAY? OLAY, SEÑORITA!🐣

Brendon's Sexy P.O.Motherfucking.V.

As I entered that haunted garage of lost souls and broken dreams, I was greeted by the demonic moans of the many corpses that had been murdered in this room. I stared at Albert Einstein, wishing he would piss off.

"The fuck do you want Albert Einstein."

"A threesome with you and Abraham Lincon."

"WHAT THE FUCK, Albert Einstein. Didn't you know? Abraham is diseased!"

"Oh my moo cow."

"Yeah."

"SOOO, do you want a threesome with me and Hannah Montana?"

I sighed.

"Hannah Montana isn't real, Albert Einstein."

His face turned red.

"YOU DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND OUR LOVE! COME ON HANNAH!"

He turned away from me, picked up a cardboard cutout of Hannah Montana and stalked out.

"JUSTIN, BABY! You can come out now!!!"

Nothing.

"JUSTIN!!!!!!!"

Nothing.

I groaned in frustration and walked to a hidden compartment in my car. I pulled out Justin Bieber.

"Jesus, Justin. You can't really expect me to do everything for you!"

Nothing.

"Oh my god, Justin. You're so hot."

I leaned over and snogged him. He didn't respond.

"JUSTIN! JUSTIN BABY PLEASE! I CAN CHANGE!"

Nothing.

"FINE, BE THAT WAY!" I walked towards the door. I opened it and, just before leaving, called over my shoulder:

"OH YEAH, AND YOU CAN TELL YOUR FANS THAT YOU ARE OFFICIALLY, SINGLE!!!!"

And then I left, slamming the door.

I felt a wrinkled, green, moldy old hand touch my shoulder. I shuddered away from it and turned to face him.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ABRAHAM LINCON!!!"

"Jesus Christ, Brendon, what the fuck? I just wanted to let you know that🐏🐌🐏, Justin is only a cardboard cutout."

I stared at him, before slapping him in the face and running into the road.

"MY BODY IS READY!"

I screamed as a car came swerving my way. I felt the impact and then black and then, nothing.

So yeah, that was my alternative chapter. I couldn't think straight, so I just didn't that. Hope you enjoyed it, shits and giggles all 'round!