ELEVEN . tsukishima kei [✓]

#86 | feb 14th

dear kei,

should i start using a different intro? like, "hey kei" or something else? dear kei sounds really formal. i don't know what you prefer. it's hard to remember things nowadays ughhh

it was so easy to remember things with you around. you'd remind me of everything that i forgot and i'd never mess up again. do you know how many times ive forgotten to eat dinner because you're not around anymore? too many times to count.

so many things are going on in my head right now and i just wanna float away. i wanna live on a cloud with you. is that such a bad idea? just me and you, sitting on a cloud for the rest of our lives. no worries for the remainder of our years together.

it sounds like pure bliss. it's the only thing ive ever wanted these past few months that we broke up. can you believe it's already been almost a hundred days since we split? this is my 86th letter and i cant stop writing them.

i just miss you so fucking much. it's so cold and empty with you. what am i supposed to do with you around? it's hard to function without you. it would be much easier to do things with you around.

my day pretty okay. i spent it in bed because i had a day off from doing whatever the hell i usually do. it was super cold so i snuggled up with a pillow and blanket. i totally didn't pretend that the pillow i cuddled was you.

last night, i had a dream about you. not a dirty one of course!

in the dream, you and i were still together. you kissed me so softly that i melted into your arms and let you have complete control over my body and mind. it was serene to be torn to pieces in such a gentle manner from the touch of your tender yet calloused hands. you said you loved me so much that you wanted to destroy every last bit of me.

and i was okay with it.

when i woke up, it was so cold without you. i desperately cried for you but my mom quickly shut me up with some water and whatever foods she shoved down my throat.

it's kinda pathetic how lost i am without you. i just love you so so much. i'd do anything for you.

happy valentine's day, my love <3

you're going to tell me i love you too much. maybe i didn't love you enough

sincerely,
l/n f/n :)