I Loathe You. I Love You Too.

Chapter Four : when do we face the music?

"Wait in the car, make sure you're not seen when Haylee gets here, duck and I should be in the truck in ten," I dialed her number and Paige was off to my car with my keys in her hand.

This'll work, this has to work.

I sat on the bleachers for a good ten minutes before I saw her car pull up next to mine and she got out of the car two minutes later walking back onto the now empty field.

"I got your text, Parker what's wrong?" she walked towards me with concern filled in her eyes.

"When is this going to end?" I looked up at her knowing if I released all the pain and let her see I might be able to get that closure I never thought I'd want or even need.

"What?" she sat next to me and grabbed my hand, something I had to fight to not cave back in. Her touch made me want to stay, her being close to me felt like everything was going to be okay but it always had in these situations. Like everything would go back to the way it was but here we were again for the third time and I guess third times a charm.

"I went to your house this morning, I got there early and went inside to come and get you. I called your name Haylee and you didn't answer, I thought you were hurt or something and I came to find Noah in your room and I heard the shit you were saying in your room, I'll lose my shit if I found out you were sleeping with him again? Fuck yeah I would but I was too damn tired of catching you that I was waiting for you to just fucking tell me so we could move past it Haylee," she interrupted me apologizing.

"I'm sorry, I started back to sleeping with Noah but it's because shits been going on in my house again Parker and I don't want to stress you out because you have your own family problems. Noah means nothing to me, not like you mean to me, please Parker. I'm truly sorry baby," she wrapped her arms around me and I wanted to forgive her, it was so easy to forgive her, so easy to go back into something you've been around for so long.

"How long are we going to do this Haylee, ruin each other but stay? When do we face the music?" I looked at her in the eyes and she shook her head.

"No Parker, no please baby don't leave me. I need you like you need me! Who's making you think like this, we have our mess ups and breakdowns but we always make up, we always stay, so stay. Stay with me Parker," she watched me carefully and sat on my lap knowing me too damn well, "I'll be better," she traced my jawline as she was seducing me. How easy it would be to give in. So. Damn. Easy, "I'll love you," she kissed my cheek, "every," then my other cheek, "single," my nose, "day," and finally my lips and I gave in instantly kissing her back hungry for that desire that was burning inside hers.

I suddenly thought back and remembered who was in my car waiting, who I made a promise too. Paige wanted to see if I was strong enough to fulfill my role and maybe a break between Haylee and I would be needed. She'd get her shit together and I'd get mine, more or less. All I've known is Haylee, only woman I've been with and maybe having a different set of eyes from someone I care about no matter how much we fight and bicker and yell and hurt each other we might grow as individuals. Learn coping mechanisms for our lack of dealing with our shit.

"Parker I'm not going to make you regret deciding to be with me," she got off and placed her hands on my thighs before getting on her knees with desire running in her eyes.

I stood up knowing distance between the two of us was needed or else I'd be a fucking liar to Paige.

"Haylee time off between us I think would be really beneficial, to get ourselves back on track. I mean look at us right now?" I stood ten feet away from her and she shook her head.

"No, no Parker it's not fair, please baby," she stepped towards me.

"Haylee I can't look at you without seeing Noah at your beckon call, we need time off," and she nodded.