In Memory of You

Gratitude

Valntines day. The day of the hearts. The day of the lovers and the loved...

The day of the broken. The day of the hurt. The day of those trying to move on. The day to commemorate the shattered hearts healing itselves...

I guess a wallflower would never truly understand. I don't know how you do it. I don't know how you remain intact after being with so many. I don't know how falling in love seems such an easy task for you. I was scared before you, and the fear grew uncontrollably after you. Once. I've loved once. I've been broken once. It's nothing compared to yours, but i couldn't take it. It was a thunderstorm for a wallflower...

At least this brokenness is filled by those surrounding me. The people who care for me. Where my dad would play the slow love songs and he'd hug my mother, that's hope for me there. Hope that maybe one day, i'd be like that with someone. But i can't deny it. I'd laugh along as i would, cringing at the sight and so on. But i had to get up earlier. Because unexpectedly enough, my eyes started to well up slowly. I remembered you. I remembered how this time last year, our story was only beginning. It is true though, that romance is at its most colourful at the start. The challenge is to be able to keep the fire burning. I guess ours was just a spark that never really grew aflame.

The dried up, dead lily and leaves. The distorted pieces of the corsage you gave me, it's hidden away in a box. You asked me before why i still had it. In fact, I'm not really sure why i'm still keeping it nor when will i finally be able to pluck up the courage and throw it away. Letting go of something which once made you the happiest person alive is a difficult task. The memories, the only thing i'm holding onto now. But why would i hold onto the past anyway? It's ironic. A wallflower is being sentimental upon a dead flower. How foolish.

Maybe this day for commemorating what i had with you. A day for paying respect to this heart for making it through. Appreciating the fact that our paths aligned with each other even for a short while. Because deep down, i know i met you for a reason. Regretting that reason will never be in my book. Why would i regret something that taught me so much? Why would i regret finding someone who made me find myself? Yes, i found myself in you. I found myself when i fell for you, when i hurt you, where i hurt myself after doing so. But more importantly, i found myself when you finally decided to walk away from me. You allowed me to get a glimpse of how it is to love and be loved. You showed me life. And for that, i will forever be grateful...