𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝'𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 ☾ 𝐥. 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞

21 | It's Official

It's official, my parents are now divorced. It was a week after my birthday and you know when my mom said that my dad was going to the store? Well, he never came back. He never wished me a 'happy birthday' or even said goodbye. He left on one of the most important days of my life and he didn't say one word to me. He just left.

It's been hard on me and my mom. She now works double shifts at the diner she works in and I haven't seen Louis in a while because I don't want him to see me like this. I don't want him to know that I can break. What if he sees this side of me and he doesn't like it? What if he thinks my life is too complicated and he wants no part in it? I can't tell him, it'll hurt me even more.

So, for the past week I told him that I've been sick with the flu. He always tells me that he can come over, but I tell him not to worry about me and that it's contagious. The only person I've told about this is Issie. She's the only one I really can tell because she's the only person I know 100% won't leave me. We've been through everything together. It's a little late to back out from our friendship now.

So, here I am lying on the floor immersed in sad songs and occasionally throwing my pillow at the wall in frustration. I haven't been able to do anything lately. I haven't written any songs, driven anywhere, I barely eat, and I can't text Louis without lying to him. I haven't slept in days. There's been these nightmares I've been getting, where I see my dad leaving and I can't do anything to stop it. I scream and cry and try to touch him, but he just leaves.

I have bags under my eyes and I lost some weight. I always wanted to lose weight, but not like this. I texted Issie and she said she's coming in a bit. When she comes over, it's like the only time I feel normal and somewhat happy. We watch Netflix and then Harry Styles interviews right after. Sometimes she tries to get me to talk about how I feel, but she knows when to stop prying which is good.

*ding*

I heard the doorbell as I walked down the stairs and to my front door. I opened the wooden barrier between me and my best friend and she was definitely looking different. She looked exactly like the boy I've been avoiding for the past week.

"Mads?" Louis walked in and held me tight. I couldn't get myself to hug him back. If I do, surely I'll start crying. "What happened to you? Are you okay?" He pulled away from the one sided hug and held my shoulders as he looked into my eyes. They were bloodshot and you could tell I haven't been sleeping. "And don't tell me that you're sick because that's bullshit. I need to know what's wrong" I stared down at the wooden floor avoiding to meet his gaze.

The first time I told Issie that my parents got divorced we cried for hours together. That was such a hard thing to admit to her, to admit to myself because once I say it out loud. I know it's real.

"Lou-" Tears sprung out of my eyes as I slid down the door and to the ground. My knees were pulled tightly to my chest as my face was completely soaked in tears.

"Hey, hey, hey" He sat down beside me, both of our backs rested on the door behind us. He held me tight as if I were going to disappear if I left his grasp. "Please, Mads. You have to tell me what's wrong or I can't help you. I want to help you, please let me"

I took a deep breath in and a deep breath out as I tried to stable myself. "My- my parents got divorced and-" The tears could not stop flowing as I sniffled in between each word. Louis held me tighter as he heard the reason I was, I don't know? Depressed? I don't know what I am exactly, but definitely not the same as how I was before.

The hardest part was yet to come. "And what?" Louis looked into my eyes as he noticed that my parents divorce wasn't the only thing breaking me.

"My dad left" I felt my body shake as I leaned into his arms and rested my head in his chest. His shirt was soaked, but he didn't seem to mind. He just wanted to be here for me.
"I hate him. I hate him. I hate him! How could he do that? How could someone in their right mind do that to their child? To their family? He said he loved me, he said he cared about me, he lied! The whole thing was a lie!" The tears rushed out faster and faster. Louis's chin was rested on my head as he rubbed my back.

He's not saying anything, he's just here with me. That's all I really wanted. I didn't need someone to tell me, "It's okay" because I don't need to hear lies right now. I just wanted a hug.

2 days later...
I was starting to get a bit better. All I really needed was Louis. He's been coming over everyday and listens to my rants. He lets me cuddle with him and watch movies and he's been slowly trying to get me to eat more. I was scared that he wouldn't like me anymore, but it was the exact opposite. He's only been good to me. I hope I don't have too many problems for him to handle. I just don't want him to think I rely on him for happiness.

Louis texted me to come outside, so I put on a semi-cute outfit and walked outside. To my surprise there Louis was holding a bouquet of flowers as he leaned on his car. I walked over and a smile immediately crept onto my face.

"Hi" I said as I pulled him into a hug.

"Let's go out, yeah?" He opens the passenger door for me as I slide in. We listened to my "my coming of age movie" playlist as we passed by happy families. I tried not to let them get to me, but deep down I was jealous.

"So, where are we going? Follow up question, why are we going wherever we're going?" I asked as I looked over at him. His gaze was on the road ahead of us.

"Your parents splitting up and your dad has really taken a toll on you and I- I wanted to let you know that I'm still here" He stopped the car and we were parked right in front of The Louvre. Even though we lived in Paris, we never went. We thought it was too touristy to go, but here we are. I smiled and kissed his cheek as we made our way inside.

After The Louvre, we went to The Locks of Love Bridge. I know, another tourist attraction, but it's cute! We got a heart shaped lock as I wrote something down in sharpie on the back of the lock. "L+M Forever" We clipped it on as we stepped back to look at it. I laid my head on his shoulder as I signed out of content and happiness.

It was now nighttime as we made it to our last stop. The Eiffel Tower. It was beautiful. The lights were shining as it filled all of Paris with light and life. There were little to no people there. It all just felt so perfect. We stood underneath the tower as I wrapped my arms around his neck and his hands snaked around my waist.

His brown eyes matched the twinkling lights and his fluffy hair danced with the wind. The sounds around us stopped as it felt like we were the only two people left on this earth. My world may be crumbling around me, but I'll always have him.

"Louis Partridge, I love you" I pulled him into a gentle kiss and it felt like the first day of summer. First loves, first kisses. Like you're on top of the world and nothing can bring you back down. He felt like the sun rays beaming down on my pessimistic self, like the delicate flowers that flew through the wind, like every color in the rainbow. He's everything that makes me happy. But he's also everything that makes me sad, mad, and anxious. He makes me smile like no one else could. He's the only person I let hear my ugly laughter and see my trembling cries.

Louis Partridge, you are my everything.

A/N
lmao shit was sad asf
ahaha i hope you liked it
i needed a little sadness yk
like you can't have everything be perfect lol
but honestly, that's not even the saddest part of this book (i got some stuff planned) no one dies tho!! lmaooo ^ that sounded like someone dies but no one does ahah
just be prepared 😚
goodbye, my loves
- x, sofia

(i didn't proofread... so)