A Court of Thorns and Roses Fanfic

Chapter 1

Shut up, I told myself. Shut the fuck up and get off your ass! I stood, brushing away the dirt of my pants and shirt. I was wearing jeans and a sweater. How stupid of me to wear these clothes; how stupid of the world to transport me here as I wore clothes unfamiliar to this world. Jeans? They probably haven't gotten there yet, I told the sky. It stared back emptily at me.

I held my hand out and looked at his eyes. "Thank you," I gulped. He looked at me, puzzled. I took his hands and shook it. Nodded, bowed slightly.

"You are okay?" I let out a loosened breath and nodded.

"Thank you. Thank you."

He ignored me. "How did you get there?" I watched his eyes, worried.

"I'm not sure," I said reluctantly, still not quite sure of his intentions. "Your name?" I asked politely, shyly. Who cares about his name? Get the fuck out, go back, go back, go back. Oh God, I was going to be stuck here. I sobbed, body shaking. I was going to die here; fucking die here, without saying goodbye to anyone, never seeing them again. I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around my legs, burying my face and hair. Couldn't stop the tears and the hitched breathings.

"Get up." His voice was stern, commanding. I looked up to show my worried face.

"Am I stuck here?" I looked around frantically once more. Alone. Lost. Displaced. Away. Alone. Panic seized me, tensing up my body, and I lost control of my mind, myself. He seized me, shook me, and I was brought back once more. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

He dragged my hand to a tent. Windhaven, was it? "Eat." Would I be able to get out? Would I, would I? The thought of it... "Keep crying and I will slit your throat." I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe. I was going to die. Death. I did not think it would come so early. No. No. Not yet. "Eat." Perhaps not now, no. But sooner or later someone would kill me, or maybe I'll die after this world decides to not welcome my presence. I gulped. Shut up, SHUT UP, I told myself. Just eat.

"Thank you," I said again, looking at the table he had sat me on to find soup waiting.

I was going to keep my shit together, I decided after that meal. Time differences existed between worlds, no? I sought him, saw half naked males leering at me, and I cowered. Tensed and walked faster at their raking gazes. Filthy. Absolutely filthy gazes. Had they no respect for others?

It was a training - war camp, whatever the name was. A hundred metres afar, I saw wooden rooms, or inns. And men fighting. Big men with wings. Illyrians. I took a deep breath, and the world and the air seemed clearer, easier to move through. I spotted him from afar. The bun... Cassian then. I couldn't believe it. I just wanted to go home. Why?

He turned before I tapped his shoulder. A few seconds of his gaze, unflinching and so dominant - as if he commanded the existence of those who dwelled here. So dramatic. I took a step back and frowned.

Suddenly, another man appeared, clouded in shadows. Out of nowhere. I stumbled back, back, back. No. No. No. He was the torturer. No. No. No. I almost fell, but decided to turn and walk away. Fast. Yes, that would be a good way to go. Before I even finished turning backwards, he appeared behind me, stopping me. I screamed, moving back, back, but no, he would only winnow again. I stopped dead. Couldn't breathe. Stop. Stop.

"I just want to live and get out of here. I'm sorry if I did anything wrong. If I accidentally did something. I didn't think I did. I didn't do anything wrong, nothing I know of. Please, I'm sorry. Whatever I did, just let me out. I don't want this. I just want to go home." I sobbed and sobbed.

I felt it - something abstract, yet real. Something wrong, no, not wrong, but different, entirely different of anything I've felt. It was not wind, or the air that surrounded, but darkness and secrets and whispers. How did I describe the feeling? Like something leaning against you, eager to know what it should not. Wrong in that sense. I shivered. Recoiled. Stopped sobbing. No. No more crying. Useless. If you will die, then so be it. Don't cry, then. I love you; thank you; tell them that, please, I told the world.

I closed my eyes. Perhaps not death immediately. I shivered: torture. Stop. Stop thinking that! He will search my head. He will search it. Better than death, no?

He brought my chin up to face him. Whispered close in my ear, "How did you get there?" The voice skurried against my skin, my spine - my life seemed to dangle between those words. Logic dissipated. Only fear at that voice. I hated when people shouted at me, but this was far deadlier. I looked at his eyes. No thought remained in my mind. Only horror - and stupidity now too. I blinked. The fear ebbed. Perhaps he did not search my mind yet. Perhaps.

"I don't know." I gently took his hand to remove it from my chin. He did not budge. "I was there. I didn't wake up from being drugged or anything, I don't think so. I was just there. I felt dizzy, I could only feel my head and there." Darkness.

"Who are you?"

"What - what do you mean?" I stuttered." I just was off uni a few - a few months ago, and I...what do you mean?" Did he want to know my name or my nationality or what?

"Tell me who you are." Command laced every word.

"I'm um... Alia, and I..." I tried to find something to say. "I was a student, before, but now - before, I mean, I was looking for work, I guess. I'm not sure. I don't know if I did something - something wrong, but I'm sorry, I truly am, whatever - whatever pain it caused you."

"Do not. Waste my time," he growled. "How did you get there?!"

I sobbed. Stop. Stop. "I was just in my room about to go to get food, outside and visit a friend. And I just felt dizzy. I couldn't see anything. And then there was that." Remnants of Darkness in that cave. "I don't know," I begged, tears filling my eyes once more. "Who are you?" I trembled.

I felt talons in my mind. Tensed, and shrieked. Scattered backwards, clutching my bag tight. Looked around. But it was him, it came from him.

"Please, no," I begged. "I don't know what I did wrong. I just opened my eyes to nothing, to that cave." None of the others outside seemed to hear me, noticed me. The talons reached, gently this time. I screamed, sobbing. And passed out.