Refuge From Inhumanity

41 - Fate

"What if I ever want it to change?" She asks.

"You're breaking up with me?" My heart sinks.

"No! I'm just saying that if anything happened between us you wouldn't be one of them clingy people that stalk me for years after?" She says with a giggle.

"Maybe. Who knows?" I smirk before rolling over so I was facing her.

"You know it drives me crazy when you're this close away from my face and you do nothing." Clem laughs at the fact In was only about 2 inches away from her lips.

"I like to tease you" I chuckle whilst looking into her eyes, lit up by the moonlight shining through the window.

"Well don't" she tries to kiss me but I pull away just to make her struggle without me.

"Patience young grasshopper."

"If you love me you would kiss me." She smirks knowing that she's won the battle. Emotional blackmail was sometimes the worst but also sometimes the best.

I immediately join her side again and press my lips against hers. I pull away slightly so I could speak.

"I'll always love you." I confirm knowing there would be no way in hell I could ever love anyone else like this.

She doesn't reply but I knew what her reply was as she kisses me again but this time more roughly.

I fucking loved her so much.

_._._._._._._

Is that really what you want?" I weep.

"Its what I need. I know what you did to Jamie, it's too obvious and I don't think I could ever learn to accept that." She admits to me keeping a distance between us.

"I...understand." I bowed my head down in sorrow and headed for the door.

"Josh?" I hear her say as my hand reaches the door handle. I turn my head so I can see her.

"What?"

"Stay safe" she sighs picking at her fingernails. Did she think I'd be suicidal or something? Maybe that would be a good option out right now, that way I wouldn't feel this deep dark pain inside of me. Also the fact I deserve it immensely.

"I'll try" I cough and leave the house as I step into the sunset.

The sun was dusty as it set over Wellington. I remember the days when I used to watch the sunset with Clementine on the little spot on the hill. I loved them days and now all I could do was cherish the memories. Would I ever get to touch her again? Probably not. Would I ever get to speak to her again? Probably not.

I had nowhere to go. I had to find Lewis, the only person I trusted at this point. I knocked on the first door I thought to be his and surprisingly he answered.

"Kelly's out now, you can come in" he sympathetically smiles at my face flooded with tears.

I step into the small house I had never been in before...surprisingly. I guess this had to be Lewis and Kelly's place. It was...cozy. I had never experienced that with a house before.

"Me and your mom..." I nearly choke at the thought of it. Why was I such a fuck up?

"Its okay" he reassures me patting my shoulder. Who was the kid here?

"She kicked me out, she's left me. It didn't even feel like the inevitable." I rest my head in my hands and try not to cry. I hated crying it was not following the gender roles of society. It didn't feel right.