One Night Stand with Billionaire: BOOK 1

*Chapter 14: Christmas' Kiss

Perhaps I could go out and buy stuff more often?

"We're taking it," I suddenly heard Blake's voice who appeared behind me from what seemed to be out of nowhere, making me remember my whole Batman reference when I first met Alfred. I couldn't help but chuckle. "And by the way, you look gorgeous. Actually, saying that you look gorgeous would be a complete understatement, you're far more beautiful than it." His casual words once again ignited the blush I fought from showing to him.

No matter what, he was still a handsome guy while I was a single girl with a pair of two perfectly healthy eyes, so I couldn't not be affected by his deeds when he was being so nice.

"Thanks," I mumbled as he kissed my hand before he proceeded to hug me.

This felt . . . strange. Good, but strange. I once again wondered why we were so close, wondering why I didn't mind it.

"Umm, Blake . . ." It was still kind of awkward. I didn't know Blake well enough to become buddies with him. After all, we and the way the two of us met was just to—

"Shh, don't speak or move. You're the first woman I've hugged in a long time . . . after her," he mumbled the last part silently, but I was able to comprehend it. Her? Did he refer to that woman from his laptop background? Was she a girlfriend of his? Did he love her?

I started feeling weird things after I met Blake, and this was one of them. Jealousy. I have never even been in love nor liked someone so I never had to feel that type of jealousy, but now I do.

No. I was just lying to myself.

I was jealous of other people when I saw them have things I didn't, I admit. I was so angry at life, God even, for taking everything from me. I just wanted to be a normal girl, I was angry at other people when I saw them arguing with their families because they seemed like they didn't treasure what they still had. I was so jealous when I saw them carelessly chatting, thinking how I'd give everything just to be in their place one more time? Why was I the one who had to suffer? Why couldn't that be any of them instead?

Grief works like that. We wonder what we could've done to change it, we ask ourselves: had we done something differently, would we get a different outcome? We see what we could have had in others, and it eats us from the inside. We want to think so.

No, we prefer to grieve instead of having it easier.

Easier? Ha, it's not even that. We just want to mask our pain with numbness, and that's precisely what grief leads to. Nothing more, nothing less. Just a silent and slow death of our broken selves and an ego that refuses to bend to that outcome.

As for Blake, he'd always manage to awaken something deep inside of me, be those good or bad things. Things that made me take a deep breath and start thinking again. There was no running from him, just when I came to think that I managed to escape from him, he was already right behind me.

And now, I began to think that I was falling for him. But I couldn't, I absolutely couldn't.

For that kind of one-sided love would only hurt me or even worse, he could toy with my feelings and I didn't want to face that. As I was too preoccupied with my thoughts, I felt his hand on my back gently undoing the zipper of my dress.

"There, now go and change, there's so much more to search for." He gently guided me back towards the changing room. I pushed all my thoughts from earlier away, realizing just how silly I seemed.

Don't think about it. Don't think about it.

Don't.

"What?" I asked confused as I blinked a few times. Our first meeting left a scar on my heart that was yet to heal, I didn't know how to deal with the things he now made me feel.