a book to pour my heart out

another year

I'm turning 15 but i don't want to do anything

Atleast that's how i feel about aging

Is it ignorance or just lack of motivation?

Somehow struggling to survive in this stuffy household,

I can't wait to move away to somewhere nobody knows who I am and start a new beginning.

I refuse to grow up, I refuse to let go

Of those carefree days, in which you held me tightly in your arms

You were my sheild, now that you're gone,

I'm left feeling unprotected and unsure what to do or where to go.

Where do I start again? How do I trust again?

How is love even supposed to feel? Have I even felt real love?

I have so many questions to ask you but you left

You left before a proper answer

A proper hug..

A proper "I love you"..

And a proper goodbye

Of course I'm still furious at myself for not appreciating you while you were still here

You smiled, even when you knew that you were dying little by little everyday

I can't be mad at you, considering that I'm doing the same

I don't want to pressure anyone so that's how you must've felt.

But I'm gonna live life to the fullest, no matter how shitty it can get

Because you inspired me to do so and I will always be happy for that.

-ViVi