How to Save a Life •.*BakuDeku*.•

I need you

I was absentmindedly strumming on my guitar, playing nothing in particular, but trying to fill the empty space of my room. The rain was hitting my window softly, leaving water on my windowsill because I was too drained to get up and close the window.

"Close your damn window Katsuki! It's freezing ass upstairs!" My mother hollered.

"Yeah yeah I get it." I grumble, getting up to slam the stupid window closed. I return back to my guitar, slumped against the frame of my bed, and my mind began to drift.

You play guitar Kacchan? Deku had come over for a sleepover, and he was in my room exploring all my belongings.
"No, but I'm gonna learn how!" I smile brightly, hands on my hips and give him my brightest smile. Deku practically had stars in his eyes.
"Wow you're so cool Kacchan!"

I was awoken from my reminiscing of the past when I played a wrong chord, making the tone go sour. I sighed, leaning my head against the bed frame, picking up my discarded phone and checking the time. I needed to go to the hospital in an hour.
Every day since I've woken up, I've visited Deku in the hospital. The first few weeks I would spend hours there. Staring at his almost lifeless body, and praying he would wake up. I used to scream and him, beg him, plead with him, anything I could think of to try and wake him up, but despite all my attempts, he continued to lay there with the only indication of life being the constant beeping. Since those days I've gotten to know quite a lot of the staff, they come in while i'm there and they offer snacks and quiet support any way they can. I'm always grateful. Today was going to mark six months of Deku laying there, unconscious and barely hanging on. I was sick of it. I continued my strumming of the guitar, when a sudden wave of unfamiliar sadness comes over me. The nostalgia of playing the guitar brought back memories of the animated green-haired boy that I missed and it hurt. A lot. Instead of punching shit like I did the first few weeks, I decided to try a new approach, maybe give my knuckles a break for a while. They were already scarred and bruised from the last time a wave of depression came. I began strumming my guitar again, but this time with more meaning. I began to play with the thought of Deku in mind.

(Song: How to Save a Life by The Fray)

"Step one, you say, "We need to talk"
He walks, you say, "Sit down, it's just a talk"
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through,"

I remember Deku and I swinging in the park, playing together like nothing even mattered but us, like the world was on hold and we were the only ones living.

"Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left, and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came"

I remember his constant mumbling and his scribbling in that stupid fucking notebook with every single hero known to mankind in it. I remember his crazy hair and his sparkling eyes. He was always so determined and it drove me crazy. Nothing would stop him and I secretly always admired him for it.

"Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life"

I remember how fucking brilliant he was. How the class would light up when he spoke because he brought so many ideas and so much light. His smile would practically light up the room, radiating onto anyone else within a mile radius.

"Let him know that you know best
'Cause after all, you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence"

I remember how he smelled. I keep some of his clothes in my room just so I won't forget. I'm scared to forget. I don't want to let any part of him slip away from me I can't. I cant lose him I cant. I refuse to

"Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
Pray to God, he hears you
And I pray to God, he hears you"

I remember his mom would make me pancakes when I slept over, and he would drag me downstairs even when I was so fucking tired from staying up so late the night before. I remember it being so worth it though because I was with the only person who mattered to me. I was home

"And where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life"

I remember the look on his face when he told me he was quirkless. How he scared he was to see my reaction. I remember wanting to pull him close and hold him, but those feelings terrified me. I never wanted anyone like that.

"As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed"

I remember how he was so fucking kind to me even when I told him to kill himself. I remember falling in the river and his hand reaching out, offering silent support when I felt alone. I really never deserved his friendship.

"He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came"

I remember him and I miss him

"Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life"

Please come back Deku I need you

"How to save a life"

I should have done better I should have saved you sooner

"How to save a life"

I need you.