Light Of My Life

Guilt

Consciousness comes to Spencer slowly. He sighs and rolls over in bed, his arm reaching over only to hit cold cheats. Eyebrows furrowing, the young genius blinks open his eyes to discover that he's alone in the room.

With a quiet sniff, Spencer pulls himself out of bed. He looks out the dark window before turning to the clock. 2:38 am. Yawning, Spencer rubs his face and exits the bedroom, eyes immediately landing on the figure sitting on the couch.

"Hey," He mumbles to Devyn while moving to sit next to her.

"Hey," She whispers back, eyes shifting down to the blanket wrapped around her.

"It's late, why are you up?" Spencer can't help the yawn that breaks free but he ignores it the best he can and places a hand on Devyn's thigh.

"Couldn't sleep," Devyn admits quietly. She'd felt fine, well, mostly, yesterday but today she just...Sighing, Devyn shakes her head and purses her lips. "Did I wake you?"

"No, bed just got a little cold," Spencer shifts in his seat, moving to wrap his arm around Devyn's shoulders before pulling her into his side. Freehand moving down, Spencer slides his fingers under the hem of Devyn's shirt. "How's that feel?" He questions, fingertips tracing the rough edges of her healing scar.

"It itches," Devyn turns her head, burying her nose in Spencer's shirt, and takes a deep breath.

"That's a good thing," Spencer informs her before moving his arm to wrap around her waist. "Means it's healing."

"It won't always feel like this, right?" She's not asking about the physical wound, and Spencer knows that.

"No," He shakes his head softly before placing a kiss to her temple. "It won't but it will take time."

"I feel like I did something wrong," For the first time that night - morning? - Devyn's voice shows some emotion. The tears that fill her eyes are evident in her voice and Spencer's heart clenches.

"What?"

"I knew I was pregnant," Devyn can't raise her voice above a whisper. "Richard told me I shouldn't be working but I did it anyway. It's my fault."

"No," Spencer sits up, voice stern. "Nothing about what happened is your fault. Okay? Nothing." Devyn shakes her head so Spencer brings up his hands and gently cups her cheeks. "There's nothing else you could've done." His words are quieter than before but no less strong. "And thinking about that is only going to cause more pain." Devyn's lower lip wobbles and Spencer wipes away her tears with the pads of his thumbs.

Spencer feels his own eyes stinging as he moves to wrap his arms around Devyn once again. He pulls her to him and lets her cry. He joins her soon after.

*******

The smell of coffee is what wakes Spencer the second time that morning. He groans and sits up on the couch, stretching his score muscles. Devyn is gone, yet again, but he doesn't have to wonder for long.

"I love your bed head," She says with a smile while moving to sit next to him, a mug in each of her hands. "Or, couch head." She corrects before handing him the steaming liquid with a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you, for last night. Sorry for stealing your sleep."

"Don't apologize," Spencer nudges Devyn's head up with a finger under her chin. "Please. I'm always here for you, no matter the time."

Devyn's lips pull back up into a soft smile, her eyes sparkling. "I love you. More than you'll ever know."

"I do know," Setting his mug down on the coffee table, Spencer pulls Devyn closer to him. "Because I feel the same for you." All he wants to do is pull out that ring he bought was seems like a lifetime ago and slide it onto her finger. Let it rest there as evidence of his love. As his promise to love and care for her forever, more so than himself. But it's not the time. And he doesn't know when it will be.

Without any words, Devyn moves forward and connects her lips with Spencer's.

"I have a doctor's appointment today," Devyn says into the silence a little while later, still cuddled into Spencer's side on the couch.

"You didn't tell me that." Spencer's eyebrows furrow and he looks down at Devyn.

"I know, sorry," She shrugs. "Thought maybe you'd go back to work if you didn't know." She admits sheepishly. She's hoped he would get a good night's sleep and go into work but it obviously didn't work out that way. "I'll probably learn when I can go back to work."

"You know, you don't have to rush," Spencer says this carefully, hesitantly, his fingers running up and down Devyn's arm. "You can take more time."

"I want to go back," Devyn shifts but doesn't look up at him. She can't sit around here anymore. Of course, it's nothing against Spencer, she'd be with him all the time if she could. Well, most of the time. A girl needs to be by herself every once and a while. But these walls are starting to close in on her and she's not in the mood to just go out. Work is exactly what she needs right now. "I need to go back."

"Dev-"

"I know," Devyn cuts Spencer off, finally turning to look at him. "I know, and I won't...shut you out just because I'm working again. Promise."

"Remember, I have a great memory, I will bring this conversation up again if I have to," Spencer says, his words light but not any less meaningful. "I'm coming with you today. We'll eat out after. It'll be good."

"Yeah, okay," Devyn nods. She doesn't really feel like getting dressed up to go out but she doesn't have to. She'll just throw on some jeans and a t-shirt. People can deal with or ignore her messy hair. As long as she has Spencer by her side, nothing else matters.

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1. Richard! He came for a visit, had a talk with Devyn. Ended up helping her sleep. Adorable father/daughter moments.
2. She and Spencer had a talk as well. And they fell asleep on the couch!
3. Devyn is ready to get back to work. She's feeling restless and cooped up. Not doing anything is getting to her. I wonder how that'll go.

Thanks for reading! As always, thoughts, theories, and your reactions are welcomed! Encouraged even.

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